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*eartbrokenxx
writes: hey auntsJust wondering, how do you know if you're over your ex boyfriend? I mean, we were dating for 2 years and after 2 days of crying I stopped.. it was only when I really really thought about him which made me sad..Then even though he said we couldn't be friends he kept talking to me so I did as well, then after a week and a bit I went to a party and he went off at me saying he cbb with me anymore and that I didn't consider his feelings when I went that he could have gone to a party but he didn't want to upset me coz we just broke up. He kept asking me saying "ADMIT THAT YOU'VE MOVED ON and you don't love me anymore" but I just said no.. to both but it shouldn't matter anymore. Do you think he has the right to be upset? hrmmI knew that if we were friends we would probably fight about a million of these things! eventually.. like who we talk to, what we're doing on the weekend, etc so I just said I don't think us talking is a good idea anymore.. and he said yeh, I said that that the start, you think I wanted to talk? Ii always talked just for you and I go well, now you can have what you wanted.. then he got all defensive and goes F*^* you fine, cya laterAbout 2 hours later he goes to me, you always have to ruin anything that is good between us, you always think of urself, you have no reason to be a bitch and not talk to me, things were fine and I said well, maybe it was good for you but not for me (coz I think he just wants to talk so he doesn't have to miss me, but that's not fair of him) and then he got mad and told me to f*** off then after he apologized saying that he just liked us talking and still being in contact and he's sorry for being an asshole to me but he feels insecure wen we don't talk (I was right :P) I just said thanks for understanding, but he still tries to make conversation sometimes..Does he miss ME or having girl company? but back to the point of this post, I feel like I got over it too easy so do you think it's just a phase? and I'll get upset soon or it's only coz his chasing me sorta that I'm not upset.. I know we aren't going to get back together and I dunno if I'd want to but, I'm confused why I'm not upset! not that I'm complaining, he just meant so much to me
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female
reader, heartbrokenxx +, writes (13 February 2008):
heartbrokenxx is verified as being by the original poster of the question nah, i meant no i haven't moved on n i do still love you and i don't even know wat i want in general so i can't say anything to him
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 A tricky situation to be in. I have to say I do agree with scythe however I think you're both giving off mixed siganls...
"He kept asking me saying 'ADMIT THAT YOU'VE MOVED ON and you don't love me anymore' but I just said no.. to both"
When you said no, do you mean no I won't admit it? Or no that isn't the case?
If you didn't tell him you don't love him any more then you're sending him mixed signals too. Sounds to me he needs to hear it. Even if you do love him, if it's well and truly over, he needs to hear that you don't in order to get closure and be able to start dealing with the loss of the relationship and begin the healing process.
"... it shouldn't matter anymore. Do you think he has the right to be upset?"
Like I say I think he needs closure and he's not getting it. It's frustrating but I had to ask my EX the same thing. I needed closure.
If it really is over for good, tell him it's finished and whilst you care about him you don't love him in that way anymore.
As for the party thing... If you're no longer together you can both do what you want.
Best of luck :)
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A
male
reader, Kawika  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 My question would be...Aren't you glad you left him? The way he talks to you is...I don't know...RUDE! Don't you think? Do you really want to be with someone who treats you like that? I mean we may all differ about opinions, but intimidating, taunting, and swearing at someone to get at a point...seems...SELF CENTERED. Don't you think? I believe that the best test you can give a person is to place them in a difficult situation. The stress will inevitably dictate their True Colors. You should be proud of yourself for moving on so quickly, the other stuff is just fluff. Don't analyze it. He isn't worth your time.
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A
female
reader, scythe  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Wow.. he's sending some mixed messages here.
Did you break up with him, or did he break up with you?
I find that if you do the breaking up, then you're not usually as sad as if you got broken up with. Also - you can care about a person but not be in love with them. Maybe your heart wasn't really in the relationship, so you don't feel as sad. Plus, "being chased" usually invokes annoyed feelings. Don't be alarmed - whatever you're feeling, it's perfectly normal for you. Everyone reacts differently.
I think your ex does miss both you and girl contact. Since he comes across as so insecure, I think he is missing girl-contact ALOT. He might feel as though he doesn't want to leave you since he is afraid he might not find another girl for a while.
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