A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing Mr X for a month now and as of thus weekend still never asked what he wants/is looking for. But he lately seems to be pulling away a bit. Yesterday I called him on it and said I just dont know what's going on with us and that I can't turn my feelings for him on and off. Because he seems to kinda be there and then not.He has crazy stuff going on right now but still..He had mentioned talking the next day and told me not toGet upset. That he cared about meWell today we spoke and he again mentioned thatIn regards to "us" I shouldn't get worked up about thingsDoes that mean we aren't anything serious or does it meanHe really likes me and its fine. I'm leaning towards the earlier because he hasn't made plans to see mePS we've known each other for many years before the dating Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): I think you are pressing you too much commitment too early. Let the relationship run a bit. Don't over-think. You will seem a bit insecure if you try to pin down down after a month. All is well so relax and see how things unfold.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): Yes - but too late now. At least that's on hold in the meantime
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): Gloom,you have only been with him a month and you talk about not being able to turn feelings on and off? You would think you had been with him years. Why not demand a ring to be put on your finger?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 don't you think you should have had the "where are we going are we monogamous?" BEFORE you had sex?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): Jmtmj- well since we started sleeping together, yea. I want to know he's not
Sleeping with other people etc
That's just a personal guideline for me
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 You basically dropped the "where do you see this relationship going" line after only a month??
Yikes.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Hi,I think he meant that you shouldn't worry too much. I think he's happy with you, and he wants to continue the relationship. Do not over think too much, analyze too much. You mentioned you both know each other for years, but understand that it has been only a month as a couple. I think you should enjoy the relationship, and be happy. Instead of keep asking him, why don't you enjoy the time you spend with him, talking about other things, loving him, make happy memories, be pleasant... If you do that, I think he will want to spend more time with you. Nobody likes to be pressure, and being interrogated. My guess is, that's the reason why he might be a little distance this past week? What matters is that you are a couple, and you are together. I hope I make sense? Good luck
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