A
female
age
30-35,
*000BraveHeart0000
writes:dear cupid,i have been friends with this guy for 5 years. now he wants to take it to the next level. we have kissed once but we never actually started dating as yet. he met my parents but i have not met his as yet and he is dying for me to meet. i spoke to them once and they are good people.we talk about many things: marriage,sex, kids. he even lets me in on his plans for the future like building a house. lately, we talked about sex and he says that he would love to have it with me so that we can become closer. i really love him and he said he loves me many times but i wonder if he really loves me because though he said it, he never actually bought me anything ...just the words and the interest to have sex(though he said he wouldnt push me before i was ready)......what do you think? please reply soon Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000 +, writes (2 October 2018):
0000BraveHeart0000 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your responses, yes, that guy turned out to be a user. No, I didnt have sex with him and then he broke it off citing " It was because you didnt have sex with me" What a prick. Thanks again you guys!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):
@ anonymous. Thank you for your wise words of wisdom. I will be sure to play the game you requested. My mom has the same view as you. I love him alot but I do not think I am ready to start sex. I would like to wait longer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Hi! Now I am not sure if you've ever had sex but I don't think you should. First of all your "friend" sounds like all he wants from you is sex. I think he will be nice to you till you give him sex and once you do he will drop you like your hot. I promise you I had the same thing happening to me q d it's not a happy ending, it is quite depressing actually. If you sti want to be friends with him, that is fine just tell him straight that you don't want to have sex unilateral you are married. I hope that helped! :)
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000 +, writes (26 November 2010):
0000BraveHeart0000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx alot josephy!
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000 +, writes (26 November 2010):
0000BraveHeart0000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Guys, that really helped!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010):
You've not yet dated.
He says he loves you.
Yet he's not spent a dime on taking you on any dates?
His actions say He's a friend. A friend only. Yet even friends get each other birthday and celebration days presents.
But not him.
Not even a bunch of flowers?
Not even a lovingly chosen book he knows you will like?
If he's that mean at the start his meanness will only get wore.
He's well up on the things to say, to press your buttons. And you've fallen for the spiel. He full of promises for the future. Grandiose things he's going to do.
Even i was starting to be impressed.
But then he went and ruined it all by suggesting 'sex, to bring you closer'. What absolute rubbish!
Those are not the words of a gentleman. They are the words of a cad.
Definitely it will only satisfy his lust. And then he can tell all his friends that he scored with you. And then he will walk out, all puffed up, that he finally got a girl into bed.
his approach leaves a lot to be desired. It's certainly not a romantic approach on his part. And for that reason why should you be his guinea-pig? For him to practise on?
Give him a miss, until he's matured into something nicer. Or better still, I'm sure you can find a nicer, more caring, generous and romantic guy than this. One who will not request sex before he will date you.
suggesting
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000 +, writes (26 November 2010):
0000BraveHeart0000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Kc 100!
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A
female
reader, josephy  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 I don't think he's after sex. people express their feeling differently, we are not the same. he's just being himself with you and he sounds to me like he's really comfortable with you to share that much part of his live with you.
people may laugh at me here but I'm this kinda girl who would ask the man about what he really wants and thinks. I asked my man once if he is only after sex. of course i knew he would say NO, but he got the idea and clarified the misunderstanding
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 It doesnt sound like he is using you! Look at it this way:
1. He has met your parents
2. He talks about the future with you
3. He has told you he will wait for you to be ready for sex
4. He wants you to meet his family
All of that suggests he does really care about you and is not just trying to get you into bed!
What I would say is that you should not have sex with him until you are actually in a relationship, only kissing once does not count as anything serious. So once you are in a real relationship together, where you have been dating for a good few months so you have had the time to really get to know each other and to make sure your relationship is a happy one - then have sex. If he said he will wait, then that is great as he wont push you into it which means you can take as long as you need before you go ahead and have sex.
So take it slow, start dating properly and once you are totally comfortable then have sex.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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