A
male
age
,
raybork
writes:You both enjoy each others company so much that after the date, you are texting each other until the early hours of the morning, saying how much you enjoyed the date. You also blurt out that you are missing them badly. Hopelessly addicted to each other, there's only one real solution. You decide to move in together.The very idea is exciting and full of adventure. You've always lived with your parents and your partner's place is ideal just 10 minutes in the car from home. It wouldn't take long to rush back and borrow some money when needed (that will be often).Everyone is so excited, you and your partner, both sets of parents, and your obnoxious brother! But before you get carried away on a sea of expectation, you should draw up a plan. If you sort out some details beforehand. You will avoid arguments, bad feeling, and pure frustration. Moving in together to you, might just mean sharing everything, but in the real world you should talk it through.House Rules Plan1, Finances - splitting the bills for lighting, gas, electricity and rent/mortgage. That might just mean as easy 50/50 split, but if one of you spends a lot more time on the computer and watching TV than the other, after a while you might not like splitting the broadband and satellite TV package down the middle.Will there be other essentials to buy like a cooker, microwave oven or washing machine? If all these items are already owned by your partner, will you offer to buy replacements when one breaks down? It's essential for you both to get this right.Then there's the food bills. You might eat like a mouse, but your partner eats like a horse, You might want to come up with a more sensible food budget that better reflects your partner's eating habits.2, Cleaning - from the various websites I've checked out on the subject, cleaning up causes a high percentage of problems. Your partner keeps their place cleaner than a NASA laboratory, but you are a bit of a slob. You should both decide on cleaning duties. Will it be a joint exercise, or will you share cleaning the house, changing the bed clothes, including washing and drying? Make a list of who does what and stick to it. It will be one of your major house rules.3, Acceptable behavior - will your partner want to continue inviting their loud, swearing, party animal friends over every weekend? It just wouldn't be fair. Will you want your biker friends over once a week, scaring your partner witless.Come up with some acceptable rules on this issue and there should be no problem. Then, of course, there is personal behavior. You both will want to mention your own preferences on smoking, swearing and levels of personal hygiene.Moving in together is a big move, you will be seeing each other in a different light as opposed to just dating. You might also find it difficult adjusting to each other's routines for a while. Will you want alone time, some space to do as you please? Maybe your partner will expect it.Finally, is there an end game to this move? Is it a taster before deciding to get married or just living together for the forseeable future because it's a great idea.Just work out some simple plans that you both agree on. Communicate all the time and enjoy the experience of moving in together!
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male
reader, raybork +, writes (1 December 2010):
raybork is verified as being by the original poster of the question A Doctor, Thank you for commenting on my article. From my experience marriage is not something many young people aspire to. They only have to look at the failed marriages of their own parents and of parents of their friends.
Many couples co habit today. A lot different in my day when marriage was considered the only viable option, when a couple decided they wanted to live together.
Having a marriage certificate has never stopped people from having affairs,walking out on their marriage, or physically and emotionally abusing their partner.
As for men wanting sex without responsibility,don't get married, and don't co habit.
A
male
reader, A Doctor  +, writes (1 December 2010):
Very practical and sensible. In particular that you will be milking the cow without buying it. I wonder when young women will awaken from the propaganda related to the JOYS of cohabitation and realize that it is just another male ploy for sex without responsibility. Gals, if he loved you he would marry you.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (26 November 2010):
 Very practical and sensible advice to consider if thinking of moving in together!
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