A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i've been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of months. everything seemed to be going really well. It seemed as if we both liked each other but I noticed that he seemed a little distracted with his phone, he seemed to be always texting someone constantly. As well as that he was having problems with his ex girlfriend. 2 weeks ago I had a look through his phone and found several messasges both to his ex girlfriend as well as other girls. some were of a sexual nature while others were texts which expressed how much he wanted to be with his ex girlfriend. Ever since then trusting his as been really hard. He swore to me that he had never physcially done anything with anyone but know when he goes out he doesnt come back for hours and i dont know who he's with or what he's doing. in addition, his ex texted him a couple of days ago but he made a point after I found out about the messages that he had blocked her number and even showed me that he had. So how come she was able to text him. I like him alot but i dont think he likes me at all he's been going through a rough patch lately and i dont know whether im the idiot that stumbled along and was nice enough to help him pick up the pieces and help him get back on track. He tells me that he loves me but you wouldn't do that to someone that you loved its just not right. I dont know whether to stay or go. i've tried talking to him about it and he tries to reassure me that he wont do it again but how do i know that he won't. I've got into the habit of checking his phone to make sure he isn't doing anything. It's not how i want things to be I dont want to have to check his phone but when i did there were only a few messages in his inbox and seeing as he had pretty much spent the entire day texting i find it hard to believe that there would be so few. what if he's just learning to cover his tracks a little better now that he knows that I dont trust him? i want to be with him i really do but i don't know whether i should anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): You've only been going out with him for a couple of months, and already you don't really trust him. Always trust your instincts. Do you really want to be with a man you can't trust?
A
female
reader, dazey  +, writes (11 November 2009):
You should never spy on someone!!!!!!!!! I can't believe he took that from you and lets you keep checking his phone. what a mug.I have to admit I've done that in the past though (to an on/off ex, not a 100% lover) and I'll tell you why. I didn't trust the guy, and he wasn't realy mine and I knew it. With hindsight I knew I'd crossed the line when I did that and that was the nail in the coffin, I'll never do it again though. When you have to go that far what exactly are you trying to keep?I think you've pushed the guy away now and he probably has learned to cover his tracks, but he's still hanging around. What does that tell you? It suggests to me that he's using you for something other than a loving relationship. I could not put up with a lover checking up on me, nor would I expect my lover to either. Think about it.
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