A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I would like to know your opinion on this.My husband cheated on me after 5 years of marriage. We have been separated 3 times since the war started one year deployments. The last time he was gone for a year is when he cheated. Now he is gone again and is all paranoid that I will cheat on him or will ask for reasurrance on the relationship. The thing is that when he was with me he did not show his affection to much cause I guess he was getting over the affair, emotional/sexual. We did 7 months counseling and before he left for the last 3 months we started to reconect. The separation was really emotional and diferent. My question is: Does he loves me or he just has separation anxiety? He has become really jealous and wonders where I'm at all times. He keeps reasuring me that he loves me sexually and that he wants me and how great I'm sexually. But at times he also withdraws and make no contact for 2 to 3 days Why is he doing this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I think yes he is looking for reasurence, he cheated on you and i think that many peoplethat cheat on their partners expect them to cheat back. As a way of evening things out.
The only problem with them thinking this is that sometimes it can really destroy your relationship.
Have you forgiven him for cheatng and do ou know the reasons around it?
It may be that when he was away and a year is a long time that he was lonely.
Its not an excuse not at all but it doesnt mean he loves or cares for you less.
Its a difficut situation really and i cant honestly tell you that yes you should leave or that you should stay because that would be wrong of me. You know your relationship best and no one can tell you what to do. Its all a case of trial and error.
I wish you all the best i really do.
Peaches
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