A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Around March I received a friend request on facebook from this boy that was going to a college I had applied too. I didn't add him, just left it there and around july i finally added him because I was sure i was going to that college and I was bored lol.So I asked him how the college was and stuff and we just started talking in a message and the we chatted on facebook chat..and then on aim. we would talk for hours and hours. we had so much in common. I started to like him a little. Also i would never initiate contact he would always talk to me first. and then I finally met him at college. The first two weeks before class I hanged out with him alot.We went out, ate dinner, but it was never really dates just us having fun.I would see him in between breaks when class had just started. I never kissed him...just hugged him. It was fun and it made me like him even more. But then he told me he has a girlfriend and that he's really sorry. He didn't know how to tell me and that it would've made things weird. I told him that's fine we can just be friends...i just didn't want things to be awkward:/i stopped texting him and just distant myself from him...he would text me and I denied having lunch with him two times. I was just trying to forget him..I didn't want a heartbreak :( So I saw him after like two months at Chilis and I was with my friends. He texted me and we talked a little and then he asked me who was one my friends because he thought she was Cute! Seriously? I was mad..i didn't tell him..i was just said she's one of my good friends. And then he would always ask about her..and then he would be jk..its like he liked how much it bugged me. Then he added her on facebook and tried to talk to her..but my friend told me and I told her not to talk to him...anyways that passed..and this one time he wanted to come over and I missed him so I let him come to my dorm and we hanged out until 4 in the morning. Then I didn't see him for another two months..he would texxt sometimes...and then one day he asked me to go to a basketball game with him..It was exam week and I had just studied so much..been so bored..so I agreed. we had fun. ate tacobell.he came over and it was great. and then he texted me alot. and then we went on winter break..he would text me from time to time.and recently he asked me my schedule for tuesdays and thursdays and he was like 12-3 its lunch time for us. I was like i'll think about it. and he has been bugging me about having lunch. I denied him lunch on tuesdays..told him maybe thursday..he didn't text me today..until after lunch..he texted and was like how come you bailed on lunch..i didn't respond..and I am sick..so i had put that on my facebook status. So then after 4 hours he texted me again and said,I just saw your facebook status are you okay?" I didn't respond.I just don't want to be the second option! I'm always the second option. If he likes me so much and wants to spend so much time with me, why won't he just break up with his girlfriend? My friends keep telling me he likes you but not enough to make you his girlfriend. He always texts me and I don't know..he's just nice..when I am with him we click.we can talk for hours..idkk..he is just so confusing :(***I'm thinking his previous girlfriend broke his heart alot..and this new girlfriend really really likes him..more than he likes her..and if something happens his heart won't be broken..but with me i really think he's scared...of getting hurt again.idkkI just don't understand why he is leading me on if he likes his girlfriend so much??What should I do? Have lunch with him? respond to his text? or just ignore him?Does he really like me??
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I don't know if I should bring it up with him..never really have done that before. Today he asked me to ave lunch with him again I told him I can't. Later on i was on facebook and he started the conversation on fb chat. We just talked and talked and talked. and in the end he was like.."ill text u thursday to see if ur not too busy to eat..Brittany thinks shes cool" II was like I am amazing..and you better not forget that. and we said bye. Don't you think after a boy has been rejected for lunch 3 times, he would give up if he didn't like the girl? I feel like it should've hurt his ego by now, but he never gives up. He just asks again. If he didn't have a girlfriend, I would totally go for him. But since he has a girlfriend, I'm really scared. I also don't want him to think that he can be with me even though he has a girlfriend.
Do you think he wants to be friends? Lunch alone with him is okay if we're friends? I don't know I just think we're not really friends...What do you think?
A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (21 January 2011):
Some guys really do like the second girl and are scared, they don't really know her yet so instead of dumping the first girl, they will get to know the second girl to make sure the dumping will be worth it. But then..you have guys that are just plain selfish and greedy...then you have the guys that are simply content with having two girls.
You have been handeling the situation well. If I were you (and I dont do this) I would talk to him about the relationship. You said he has been pursuing you, ask him why? Point out that he has a girlfriend so what does he want with you? Do not have an attitude, just ask in a matter of fact way. Get him to talk to you about it.
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