A
female
age
36-40,
*issy_massacre
writes:Yesterday my bf was on his psp, and i asked him if he was looking at porn. (I know he does, he says he doesn't) anyways.. he told me no. So today i was going to use his psp for the internet because the net on my computer wasn't working right. And guess what pops up. some girls genitalia. Ohh i was soo mad. Not that he was looking at porn because i look at it too, but that he had lied about it, and that i was like 5 feet from him while he was doing it! So rather than spend time with me, or be intimate with me. He would rather look at porn. We hardly have sex, maybe once a week if that.should i be worried that if he lied about that, that he lies about other things?
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (7 December 2007):
Most guys look at porn.I have pictures of the vagina,vulva and labia because i wana learn it's anatomy more.However,some guys are just so into porn that they live in fantasy island that they would trade their girlfriends to be pornstars.Whatever kind of lieing done is always harmful to a relationship.I've never told my girlfriend that i look at vaginas on the net because she would think me weird but i would tell her if she ever asked and i'm not into porn coz for me looking at labias is not porn but i've taken pleasure once in a while in seeing others make a performance for sex just for my eyes.It really depends on how much you trust him.If you dig him alot,you can accept that he lied to you this once for reasons best known to him or you can conclude this is a leakage of facts secretly hidden and it's not safe trusting him.Then you are better off leaving him and if you are not happy with your sex life face it.It win't change any time soon.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Oh man. Yeah that's not good. That he would look at porn five feet away from you? That's not good at all. And that you guys barely have sex?? Nah.
So yeah you should be concerned. Look you can't change people. He is who he is and let me tell you that if you dumped him, he would never find a girl like you who would put up with his incessant porn addiction. So if you dump him, which I think you should, you should feel happy.
Anyways, what he is doing is not normal. I have been there. I dated a porn addict and I was SO unhappy. He lied too. I left him eventually. And I was SO happy without him. Not at first. But as soon as I started dating again and felt what it was like to have a NORMAL relationship where a guy wants to have sex with me all the time and puts my needs before porn, it was HEAVEN. You will be so much better off without him. And I know firsthand. So hopefully you will leave him. Tell him you wish him and his porn good luck in the future. Tell him you hope they have a happy relationship. And just end it and move on.
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A
female
reader, sexyhunnibbe001  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 yh i'd definetely sit him down and have a serious talk.
maybe admit that you look at porn if he doesn't already know.
if he still denies it then the best thing to do is to get rid of him and find someone else who you deserve and soeone who deserves you.
hopefully he will admit n say sorry for lieing and if there's anything else to confess he will do.
hope i helped :)
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Ahhhhh I've had this conversation before.
That was the issue I had with my ex. I had the whole sit down talk, told him if he wanted to explore porn he shouldn't hide it, but share it with me. I told him that being a couple was exploring our sexuality together, not hiding stuff from each other.
Besides that, men just like womens naked bodies. They are visual. Some men have it as a permanent part of their lives, and nothing you say or do will change it.
Have the talk with him, see if it does make any difference.
In my ex's case it was porn and strip clubs. For me it was against what I believed and effected the way I saw myself in that relationship.
What makes a good relationship is the fact that you share the same core beliefs. You can have differing styles and opinions, but your core morals have to be the same or it just doesn't work. If the porn issue is truly a core belief of yours that you cannot come to terms with then firstly you need to express it to him. Secondly if he doesn't alter his behaviour its time to do some soul searching.
I guess it really depends on whether you can live with this, because leopards really don't change their spots no matter how much we verbally try and convince them.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (6 December 2007):
 If I were you I would emphasize to him how important honesty is to having a good relationship. I think that sometimes people lie unnecesarily because they try to avoid confrontations. So just tell him how you feel. I would not consider him a big fat liar from this incident but I would express the need for him to tell you the truth in the future.
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (6 December 2007):
hiya! first of all i would be angry too if this happened so i know how you're feeling. maybe your bf was too embarassed to tel you he was looking at porn. does he know you look at porn too? first confront him and tell him you know. see his reaction and then maybe till him you look at it too. you never know maybe you could compare...lol
ellie
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): What's a psp?
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