A
female
age
30-35,
*j012
writes:I like this guy alot and we have been dateing for about a month and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to make love to me.He calls and checks up on me almost every day and he makes me feel like he reali cares about me. I am not sure what to do because he is known to be a player and i dont know if i should belive that he loves me or that he just wantes to get me in bed, what should i belive in?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): If you don't think he's still a player then why did you ask for advice on DC? I think you and i both know that people like him rarely change.
By all means date him if that's what you want but please don't go into denial about what he's like. Make him work for your affection and attention. Go on dates but don't sleep with him.
The only thing i'll say is please don't invest all of your heart in this because guys like him know exactly what to say. Of course he's going to say he's changed when your there, he's hardly going to admit it is he?
I'm guessing he's not so innocent when he's around his friends, talking about this new girl he's trying to get with (you).
A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I doubt he's changed, honestly. Otherwise you wouldn't be wondering if he's still a player, and he wouldn't still have such a reputation.
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A
female
reader, jj012 +, writes (3 December 2010):
jj012 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou guys for your advice, i really appriciate it
also the thing is he use to be a player and everytime i tell someone im dating him they say oo you mean that player and it gets reali frustating because he has changed alot and i have not only known him for a month i new him for a year now but we officially started dating a month ago
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): You already know the answer.
"because he is known to be a player"
What does that tell you.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (2 December 2010):
He's known to be a player for a reason, and players are often really good at fooling people into thinking they're sincere. Chances are he's only after one thing, but the only way you'll be able to find out for certain is to make him wait. If after two or three months he disappears, you'll know he was only in it for sex and got tired of waiting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): If he's know to be a "player" and has a reputation, there's usually a reason for that.
Make him wait and see if he still hangs around. Don't feel pressured into sleeping with him. If he actually likes you he will stick around.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Just wait. If he refuses to respect your wishes to wait, you will know that he is merely feeding you the hollow words. It has only been a month so if he already starting to tell you that he loves you, you should be suspicious. If he is honest, he will not mind waiting until you are ready. If he pressures you, I suggest you leave him immediately.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): If he has a rep for being a player then it's for a reason. I don't think you should do that yet, it's too soon into the relationship to truly know if he loves you or not, and if you really love him or not as well. Give it time. See hoe things go. If he doesn't love you at all and just wants sex from you then he'll eventually get tired of waiting and will leave you. If that's the case, then you will know that's all he was after. If he doesn't leave then you two can further work on developing a stronger bond with each other. I think 1 month is too little time to have sex with someone you just got into a relationship with. Don't do something you might later on regret.
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