A
female
age
30-35,
*auren (:
writes:okay well im 15 years old and just left school after my gcse's which is why im slightly worried about things that could happen over the summer :/a boy in my year whos 16 has like me for longer than a year now and we were always texting and chatting on msn but we never talked in school. i dont know why that was i think because hes one of the very popular "chavy" boys and im just a normal girl. Also hes black and im white and some of his group thought he wouldnt date a white girl which was wrong because he prefers white girls.so a few weeks ago we were texting as normal and he invited me over to his after school had ended. so i went round and we ended up having sex which was wrong because i was slightly pressured and i wernt sure if i wanted it. it really hurt and i didnt enjoy it and it certainly didnt go very far or feel right.we carried on talking afterwards but then a week or so after he invited me round again so i went. But we had sex again and it was much better this time and even i enjoyed it this time!but since then we had a period of normal chatting and then suddenly he didnt talk to em for a week, im not at school now so we dont have a chance to talk there... i texted him and he didnt reply to any of my texts then at the beginning of this week he finally replied saying sorry he hadnt been texting. when i aksed him why he said he didnt know. now things are awkward and we sometimes have difficulty talking. when ive texted him since hes said hes eating dinner or something and then doesnt say much but also wanted me to go round yesterday which i didnt.I was talking to my girls about this and one of them said that hes got me wrapped round his little finger. do you think this is right... i dont do everything he says? then one of told my best mate that she thinks hes using me or messing me around...:O(? what do you think?i really hope that she not right because i really like him and he means the world to meand i want to have a proper relationship like he said we would. i dont like his friends and he can be bad when hes drunk and stuff but i love him and up till now everyone has thought he liked me more than i liked him.hardly anyone knows about this but i dont know what to do. some people are saying he sees me as something to show off because i look like "a barbie" according to most people e.g. i fake tan, lots of make up, long hair extensions (brown haired) big boobs, nice figure. they think he wants me because im a perfect girl for a black boy to show off because i look fake but i dont think thats right?sorry this is really long but i really would appreciate some advice because its driving me up the wall not knowing and i need to make a decision about it ¬_¬thanks if you can take some time xxx
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female
reader, Tinysplatty +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Hello hun,
From the information you've given, I'm sorry to say that it does sound as if he is using you for sex. You may not want to believe this because you really like him...but you either have to figure out for sure what he wants, or move on to somebody better.
If you aren't prepared to just give up on him, then you should find a way of talking to him, and ask him straight out how he feels about you. Explain how you feel. And make it clear that you are not willing to be used for sex...you have to show him you respect yourself if you want him to respect you. If you don't want to talk directly about it, then maybe suggest you two hang out but refuse to have sex. The way he acts should make his intentions clearer.
To be honest...either way, it doesnt sound as if you two are very compatible. You say you never really talked much in person, and it feels awkward when you do. Things shouldn't be like that sweetie...you need to be with somebody who you can be yourself with and just enjoy spending time with and talking to. I think the best thing to do would be to say no to this guy and find somebody better.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, laura585  +, writes (17 June 2009):
Totally sounds like a booty call to me as well. Don't have sex with him for a while and see if he talks to you anymore, if he doesnt then you know. It happens and it sucks but you just have to keep your head up and move on. It may not seem like it at your age but there are ALOT of people out there and eventually you will find someone with all the right intentions. Good luck to ya honey.
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Basically you've been used for sex. I know this because the exact same thing happened to me at your age. A popular guy that everyone fancied starting paying attention to me and i was just a normal girl. Makes you feel special and wanted doesnt it? Hes pressured you into sex, just like the guy did to me, and you feel close to him because you had your first time with him. The things he said made you feel as though he loved you. Well the truth is, he doesnt love you, or even care about you or your feelings. He wanted a cheap and easy shag with a naive and younger girl who would give in easily. I'm sorry to break it to you, i know its not nice, but the sooner you accept it the better. The more you text him the bigger his egos gonna get. Its better for you if you just cut him out of your life and move on. Focus on school and be young while you are. Sorry and good luck!
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