A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey Guys, From some time in my 3 years of ”Inconsistent” Relationship with my bf, we had sex once a week (we could not do it more ”due to schedules and his medical studies”)Besides not having much sex, he also happened to have, well I could describe it as an obsession with anal sex.I pleased him 3 times, it hurted badly I even cried one of the times, I hate anal sex at it’s maximum, can’t stand it, the point is, even If I told him that I did not like anal, and did not want to do it, everytime we had sex he kept insisting to do it, at the end. He started trying to do anal with me into 4-5 month of relationship, so in my mind at that time I believed he was just curious and that’s it.So then, He always had a way to say ”oh so today we are going to do it from behind” or”let me do it in your b**tt” with much excitement in his voice. Another thing that caught my eye was the fact that in his car, I had been seeing a business card, It had been thrown in his car for quite some time, but I never asked him, Until I saw it with my own eyes and it was of a Sexual therapist and couples therapy counselor , this card had the name of a sexual store and in the center it had the therapist’s name. I always suspected he had a anal porn adiction, cause he even showed me a website once. So I wonder why he had this therapist card? with all honesty I don’t think a person has a card like that for no reason, Any Thoughts?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 March 2017):
 1. OP you should NEVER do sex acts you don't enjoy. If he insists on anal then go buy a GOOD size dildo and tell him YOU first!
2. YOU need to learn 2 things. Firstly that it is OK to say NO to things you don't enjoy in bed and secondly CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT.
He might WANT anal, doesn't mean you HAVE to do it!
I say DROP this relationship and do it now. He has absolutely NO respect for you or your boundaries all he CARES about is getting what he wants.
He made you CRY and kept going at it?! That is NOT a good partner.
He needs MORE than a fake therapist.
And no I don't think it's a real business card, I think it's more likely a "stage name" or whatever you want to call it - who does ROLEPLAYING games. I don't it's likely that a SERIOUS therapist has the name of a sex store on her/his card.
Take a look at what's going on here. You write :" He started trying to do anal with me into 4-5 month of relationship" You make it sound like you have NO say in the sex and what goes on with YOUR body. You are NOT his experimental blow up doll.
And WHO cares if HE has "an addiction to anal"... (I don't think it's an addiction, I think it's an obsession - big difference) - IF YOU DO NOT ENJOY IT - don't do it. And if HE enjoys it so much that he totally disregard your discomfort and tears KICK him to the CURB!
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (8 March 2017):
 Rule 1: never have sexual that you don't want to nor enjoy. Sex has to please both people or it shouldn't happen. That anal sex should have never happened the second time, let alone few others.
He might have an addiction or may not, but one other thing that is certain is that your guy does not respect your wishes, does not care about them and has zero sensitivity what you want in bed and how you feel... or why else would he keep insisting on an anal. Frankly, if my was woman crying after anal, it would have been a major personal disaster for me.
So, I'm not saying dump him, but if tables were turned and it was me in your situation I would definitively consider that option.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2017): OMG! What shocks me with your post is that oh don't seem to feel the weight of what he has done! Please see this man is a disgusting predator who has effectively raped you with his pressurising and hurting you and not stopping, to hell with weather he has an addiction or seeing a sex therapist- he does not care for you to do this! Please get rid of this piece of s^^^!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (8 March 2017):
 Why he has the card is irrelevant. What is important and not acceptable is him hurting you and forcing you to do sexual things you don't want to do.
Yes, some couple enjoy anal and, if both of you enjoy it, then that is great. However, YOU do not enjoy it. Sex should be about enjoyment for BOTH of you. If you kept saying no, and he went ahead anyway, then he effectively RAPED you, sweetheart.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dump him and find someone who respects you enough not to abuse you. This guy is only with you for his own sexual gratification, regardless of your wishes or feelings. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2017): So by therapist what do you mean? Do you suspect this is a prostitute calling herself a therapist ? And he is paying her for anal sex ? I can't imagine a legitimate sex therapist working from a sex shop! Also a legitimate sex therapist is something that a couple usually sees it in the least he would talk to you about . What would he be seeing a sexual therapist about . It sounds like a hooker to me More importantly ! Why are you having anal sex with someone when you explicitly state how much you hate it ? This is extremely damaging to your self esteem and degrading to participate in a sexual act that you dislike so much simply because of pressure from a partner If he is forcing you even through verbal coercion this is q form of rape in my opinion. You need to seek help immediately as this relationship sounds extremely abusive and you sound like you are not thinking clearly at all . Is there someone trusted that you can confide in
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