A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just want some ideas about whether he thinks of me and why he doesn't seem to want to "be" with me again. We were friends for about the past year and eventually we moved past that stage when he came clean about his feeling for me. I am married so this was extremely difficult for the both of us (but my marriage was in turmoil and on the brink of disintegration anyway). We landed up having a brief affair over 3 months, but then people became suspicious so we had to stop. Since then I have become legally separated. We still text every once in a while about random things, but never about "us". I still think about him and when I see him, I want him so badly to initiate things again, but he hasn't (not in that way). He knows I am more available now than I was. How could he be over it so quickly when he told me before how much he thought about me and felt he was falling in love with me, but now those feelings are gone? I realize he is shy when it comes to this because it took him almost a year to make a move, but now nothing. Do I have a chance to ever be with him again or did I ruin it by calling it off in the first place? I am thinking he could be dating someone, but he never tells me that when we are texting. I just can't get him out of my head and I want to know if anyone thinks he even thinks about me or can men just shut it off so quickly?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): maybe he's actually trying to do the right thing and wait until there is a divorce... He doesnt want to be labeled as the guy that broke up your marriage. Mal
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): I don't think that he used you, as otherwise he would be happy to make love to you. Maybe he still loves you but is too shy to show so. Tell him howyou feel and then give him the chance to tell how feels.
hope this helps, from the love gurus
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
Men can shut off quickly if their feelings aren't strong enough. There could be two reasons he s acting this way. One., he could genuinely be shy and not know how to initiate things again and is perhaps hoping you will do something. Or two, he used you because you were unhappily married and he knew he could get away with it. My suggestion to you would be to talk to him about it. If he's shy, he will be grateful that you've said something, and if he's not interested he will make it clear. But you won't know unless you talk to him.
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