A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend of 10 years. life is good as long as its about him and no one else. recently my adopted son came back into my life and i needed to build a bound there. my question is does my boyfriend love me for me or what i can do for him. i give him an hour massage every night and when my back is out he does not do the same for me. when it comes to cleaning he expects me to do it all.I have asked him if we would ever marry and he becomes hostile and says dont back him into a corner. he owns his own home. and i do all the cleaning and shopping laundry ext. he had a brain anerysum 4 years ago and blames this on that but we have not had sex in allmost 7. i have told and showed him that sex does not have to be intercourse but how he could satisfie me in other ways. and still has not tried sometimes he has asked for oral which i do with no hesitation but i do not get anything in return he allso likes to point out my faults in front of his friends he buys all food and i buy all my own personal belongings i allso pay for my car a mail box all clothes insurance and he tells me i only pay a dollar in rent when i fell i put in minium of 6 hours a day. I allso have been renting a storage unit for 10 years and still he complains about my belongings. and then i take them to storage. i was wondering is this the right man for me or am i a housemaid slash massager laundry maid and shopping in my own vechile i pay the gas and i only work 28 hours a month.please respond wondering if there is some insecurity in me or is my feelings right lots of other examples to say just to many to list thankyou i will appericate any advice. p.s. my boyfriensd is 61 and i am 40 Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 Hi,I know you don't have a full time job. Well, time to find one, immediately. I am 38 years myself. My boyfriend is same age, he pays everything, including my car, clothes, food, everything!! We are almost same age, and I cannot believe how our lives are completely different. We go out almost everyday. On weekends we always go to the beach, dinner, or movies. I am not trying to make you feel bad. I am just telling you that you are wasting your life with this man. I get sad just reading your post. This man, he's selfish, don't appreciate you, respect you, love you, or care about you. Confidence you will start getting back when you leave this man. What's important for you is to keep quiet. Keep doing the things you do, but find a full time job, so you can have enough money to support yourself, and move out. Also, find a full time job, save enough money, also once you move out, you can find a roommate to share rent. We live life once, you are still in the prime of your life. It's time to make a better life, find a man that truly deserves you, a partner that will love, respect you, help you with bills, household chores, etc. Good luck
A
female
reader, spanishquerida  +, writes (18 September 2011):
You are being taken advantage of and emotionally abused. This is not a loving, caring relationship made with two equals. You are his maid and he is the master of the house. You need to get out NOW and find someone who will treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve, because you seem like a loving and attentive person. It is only fair that you find the same in a man. You are not insecure at all - you are just picking up on the fact that you are not being treated as an equal or a partner. He does not sound like he loves, respects or cares for you or your needs.GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW!
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