A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Does anyone here have a problem with confidence. I mean confidence more to do with meeting new people and getting into relationships. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone and obviously a virgin. I know that its confidence that makes everything happen but I know looks matter a little. But i’m not going to say how I think I look, I think i’m hideous but people have told me i’m not, guess it’s just a matter of opinion lol. And I always try and make an effort to look good, shower everyday and I make an effort with people. I go out quite a lot now and i’ve made some new friends here at uni. Does anyone think that some people just aren’t meant to find love? I know i’m young and people will say that it will happen eventually, but i’m always overlooked by everyone and it’s just getting to me now, had to find a place to vent lolAnyone else in a similar situation? It’s really not about losing my virginity, i’m just lonely I guess and I want someone to love lol.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (2 March 2012):
Firstly, there is nothing to be ashamed about at being a virgin at your age, in fact it's kinda nice that you are wanting to love someone first (it makes a change for a younger guy! lol)Yeah looks matter to some degree (not gonna lie!), but personality is way more important, and you just have to make the best of what you got! Sometimes if you join a group or hobby you like and get to know people that have similar interests to you, you can start to see people in a different light, or start to fall for people you never thought were your 'type' so to speak.There are people that choose not to find love/or are quite content to be single, and each to their own, infact you HAVE to be happy with yourself first if you are to be happy with someone else. Even in a relationship the other person isn't responsible for your 'entire' happiness, YOU have to be happy first, (from being single to getting into a relationship).Sometimes you have to fake being confident especially if you feel you are being overlooked. (I know I fake it, people are surprised when I say I'm actually quite shy underneath!)I'm sure being at Uni will do you the world of good though, mixing with other people in different classes, I found I blossomed when I started working and was split from my school friend (who was very good looking and confident...I often felt like the underdog in school! lol!), and I became my own person, with my own friends)Think about enjoying being single for right now, you can do what you want, when you want to etc... and when you are having fun, and least expecting it someone comes along!! (Happyiness is VERY attractive!) :-)
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 I believe its possible for almost anyone to find love, but for many people it doesn't happen. Look at all the single people in the world. Many of them don't want to be alone, but they are. Of course there are many reasons people are alone, but the sad fact is that maybe they just never found the right person. Then there are people who find love, but it doesn't last. Some of us just aren't lucky in love, we don't get the story book ending. Now putting all the negativity aside, sweetheart, you are very young. I know thats not what you want to hear, but its true. The odds are in your favor that you're going to find someone. Don't dwell on it at your age though ok? Many times love happens when you least expect it. Sometimes people truly do try too hard. There are so many amazing stories of people who had found love, please keep that in mind. My mother in law had been married for 50 years, her husband died, she was 72. Would you believe she found a very sweet wonderful man again and got remarried at 74? Don't give up at such a tender age! They say there is someone for everyone, so believe that your guy is out there for you!
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (1 March 2012):
Patience is key here.
The more you want it, the harder it is to find it.
These things just tend to happen when you least expect it.
Be yourself, be friendly, talk to people, see what happens.
There's many more people in your situation so you are not alone.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Hey kid
Thanks for comin on here. Now in my experience ive had way more success in getting laid and attention from women when im having fun vs when im looking for a reltshp. In my opinion the emotion is overrated but i wont go into it. Instead it looks like youre developing confidence. Stay around ppl n mingle. Also if you really get frustrated with u how u look like i did.. get intense into weightlifting. Anger on other hand is an underrated emotion that is only if u use it the right way. Good luck.
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