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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: heyxI was just curious, is there anyone out there that agrees with me when i say i want to stay a virgin til im married? Does anyone think thats good? Im 15, and believe that you shouldnt have sex untill you have had your wedding. do you think this is pathetic? Is anyone else planning on doing this? Has done this?Thankyoux
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Don't start having sex at 13-15 years old. I don't care whether you eventually decide to wait until you're married or not. But do yourself a favor and wait until you're in a decent real relationship (half a year or more) and you are in the later half of your teen years. I do not say this out of my own morality feelings, just my cold hard life-experience. Pretty much all the girls I've ever known who started having sex before about 17 years old have said they regret doing it so early now. The fact is that you're pretty much mentally incapable of a real adult romantic relationship until at least your mid/late teens. I know lots of kids have sex, and go on dates, and call eachother BF/GF for years before that. But a real serious relationship has emotional depth that just won't be happening between a pair of 14-year-olds. (People are rarely even mature/experienced enough to HAVE that kind of depth of personality yet before their late teens.) It's great to hear you wanting to wait until you are married. It's not that you don't hear about this decision much because it's "pathetic" or "stupid" or "prude." You just don't hear about it very much because it's so very rare and difficult these days. Most authority figures feel like they're being unrealistic to even talk much about it to teenagers anymore. They feel like it's a real achievement for modern kids to just keep their pants on until they're in high school or college. The teachers/counselors/etc don't want to risk alienating anyone by bringing up the virgin-til-marriage idea. (And when you glorify chastity, it carries an implication of judging the un-chaste.)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): I think it is a bad idea. You need to know your partner fully before you can commit for life - it is a long time! What if you are not sexually compatible? It is better to have all the fact before you make such a long term decision.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): well my opinion is wait until u r 18. i mean think about it would u get married without having sex with the person? on ur honeymoon u find out they are a very bad lover
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Hi,
most people offering advice are religious here. So if you plan on marrying someone religious as well you should be fine to wait. But I read statistics which said 83% of girls commiting to chastity vowes will end up having sex before they are married.
To me what really is important is having sex with someone you love, marriage is a piece of paper which the church and society use to legitimise your relationship. My nephew who is a baptist was having sex with his girlfriend two years before they were married, they knew they were going to get married and were in love so they thought why wait , they were able to make the decision themselves without a third party telling them it was morally wrong. Hopefully you will do the same. You don't want to do what the girl at my work did, she married this year ( the are both Pentecostals) and he is gay. He is in denial but she never found out when they were dating because he sees it as evil - but he is still gay and she is now a married virgin.
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A
male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Good for you! Not pathetic at all. Let the guys you date later in life know that up front - some guys just aren't willing to wait and will continue to pressure you until you finally give in. If he's not willing to wait, he's not worth keeping.
I think it's awesome that someone wants to wait until they're married. Stay in prayer and I wish you all the best :)
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 That is a very virtuous thought. It would be excellent if you can do that.
It is rare to find someone like you today in the Western society.
You can read my take here :-
http://www.pinksuzie.com/2007/05/11/is-virginity-still-a-prized-asset/
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A
female
reader, I.miss.yooh +, writes (24 February 2008):
I agree with you!!..im 15 and im saving myself for marriage.
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A
female
reader, babybegone +, writes (24 February 2008):
Even though I did not wait, sometimes I wish I had, or at least waited till I was older.
I have a lot of respect for you, and anyone who waits, really.
:]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): It dosen't sound pathetic at all, I think that is the way sex is supposed to be. As for me I'm waiting for my one and only. I'm 10 years older than you and I'll keep waiting as long as it takes.
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A
female
reader, jace_mr.muffles  +, writes (24 February 2008):
i think think your going the right path and for a girl your age its hard choosing what you want to do but i love what your choosing and sty with it !! all the best!!
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A
female
reader, scythe +, writes (24 February 2008):
 I agree with you darl. It is a good idea, and it's definately not pathetic. I'm 18 and I believe in this philosophy too. I see two main rewards for waiting until you are married:
1. Your first time will be with someone who loves and cares for you very much. I think its quite a gift to be able to have sex with only your husband. Its like saying "Here, I saved myself for you and only you". Plus, I think sex is designed for married people anyway. Might as well use it properly. Also, it basically eliminates those player guys who act like the perfect boyfriend only to have sex with you then dump you - atleast you know that your husband doesn't want you just for sex.
2. You won't have to worry about teen pregnancy. You won't have to take the pill every day, and most probably you won't have to worry about getting STI's (depending on your other sexual activities).
I think you are very smart and mature to want to wait until you are married. Sometimes it is hard since pretty much all your friends will have sex in highschool, and ALOT of the guys you meet and date will expect to have sex with you. Just remember your reasons for waiting, and don't feel you have to compromise your values.
Take care,
Scythe
xox
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Sweet darling, you are more natural and normal to hold your ideals in your heart than many if not most young women today. I'll admit that I became sexually active even a year younger, but it really was too early to do me any great good.
You should be proud of yourself and hold to your feelings. Some wonderful young man will someday love and cherish you not only for your beauty and who you are, but also because of your goodness and superb common sense. You will be a woman of great quality, incredible leadership and value.
You GO girl.
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A
female
reader, Aylarsh +, writes (24 February 2008):
 I think this is a good Idea. Why have sex with someone you don't care about. Better to give it to the husband that you love.
3
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A
female
reader, leyan  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Hi dear, I was 26 when I got married, I was a virgin, I believe in God and that he sees sex as sacred and can only be between a married couple otherwise it is a sin, anyone says otherwise is misguided and only fooling themselves.Stick to your believes.Feel free to mail me, if u want to talk.Take care and all the best.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 I think if you can really ait and you can last then you should wait if thats what you want gives you more self respect to and atleast your first time will be with someone who loves and respects you as you do them
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): i think thats a great idea thats my goal i'll be 18 in like 20 days and a virgin so im doing alright.-michael
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