A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'd like help because I don't really have many good friends. I'm lonely as a result of this.Im 25 and I've never really had a girlfriend as such. I'm highly educated, successful and make a lot of money. I'm into my music, play drums and like driving my car. I'm not what you'd call handsome, but I'm not exactly Frankenstein either. I'm pretty quiet, modest, don't attract too much attention to myself. I work hard, and am pretty good at what I do. I do work long hours, but generally I make a lot of time to have fun too.I have tried to meet girls by talking to the ones at my work, by going to clubs/bars etc. and doing various social things with my friends in an attempt to meet new people. However, try as I might, I still haven't found anyone that even found me interesting enough to talk to. The girls I do find attractive, I do sometimes talk to, but I find that either they are in relationships already, or that they just don't seem all that interested. I don't give up easily, but eventually you get the message when they dont reply to your calls or messages, or invitations to just hang out. I would say I have pretty high standards, that the girl I'd like to spend a lot of time with has to be pretty good looking, educated, and have a sense of humor.For a while I thought I'd be an ok boyfriend to have because I'm pretty honest, I'm a good listener, and once you get to know me, I can be spontaneous and funny. I know how to have a good time, and I would say I have pretty good taste in a lot of things. Nowadays, though, with my obvious lack of success in "wooing" any girl, I have my doubts over whether I'm even relationship material. I do get pretty lonely. Sometimes, I feel concerned that all my friends are in relationships and have found somebody to share themselves with and talk to about things, but it feels like I don't really have anyone to talk to about anything, even just the little things in my day, or what I did, or what I thought of something, or find out what happened in their day, and what they are happy and sad about. Most days I come home and see people post things on things like Facebook, or people have conversations with each other either on FB or perhaps overhear conversations, or telephone conversations with their partners about this or that and to be honest I do really wish I had someone to just chat to and talk about stuff - even if it's not even important or just shooting the breeze. I guess when this goes on for a long time you start wondering whether anyone even cares about what you think about a topic etc, or whether you exist at all.On the weekends and times like that it seems like all my friends are occupied with doing things with their partners or friends. I make myself available to hang out, but most of the time don't really get invited to stuff. I occasionally be a bit forward and just ask people what their up to - but usually an invitation to hang out isn't that easily obtained. Most of the time I wish I had someone to hang out with and perhaps go and do some cool stuff. Invariably, what happens is that I just have to go and do stuff on my own. Even if I turn up to quite public places - the people there are only ever there with their partners, or don't really seem interested in having a conversation for starters. I'd really like some suggestions on some creative ways to meet people, girls in particular, and perhaps some hints/tips on how to talk to them to make myself appear more interesting, or perhaps worth taking notice of for more than just a few minutes. If not that, then perhaps some tips on things to do by yourself that are quite fun, and challenging what also be much appreciated. Thanks for reading,mr_a
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maelene  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 You may have to come out of your shell a little bit. You must be confident in who you are and love yourself! You seem a little depressed but you have to look at the good side of things. Being single isn't all that bad. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work and couples have their bad times too. If you want to meet girls you gotta do what you love and have fun what your doing. You mentioned you went to bars and havent found anyone, maybe your standards are a little high? Just because the girl isnt what you expected, have fun with her anyway and be her friend. Who knows you may meet one of her friends that is something you want. Be persistant about it and don't give up because you are in the right direction. We have all been there, but from what I have learned is an awesome person walks into your life when you least expect it. So have some fun and no more dwelling...Maelene
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