A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Like, I will be the first to admit that I love making online friends. It's so much easier to communicate, and there's no judgement in between. It's fun, right? But there's one guy I'm friends with. I've been online friends with him for about... 7 years. I met him when I was in my final year of grade school, and we are REALLY best friends. I will also admit that we had a fling, since relationships cannot truely exist online, I believe. He lives across the country... So, I figured one day I'd see him!Here's the problem though, when we were having this "fling" it got to the point where he was a little over obsessed with me. To the point where we "broke up". He was starting to get on my nerves, wanting to talk every single night, and just him talking would get annoying. Today, we are still best friends. I still plan to see him, but there are sometimes when he texts me I'll be happy and willing to talk. But there are other days where I just don't want to hear from him and wished he would leave me alone. I've said things I now regret in the heat of the moment, such as where I would date him if I get to see him. Stuff like that.Before when I planned to see him, I was so excited. But sometimes I dread it and wish I never promised to.Don't get me wrong either, it's not like I don't date guys who I can actually date, this was a one time thing.Does anyone else ever have this problem? Not just with online friends... Just with anyone.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (30 October 2012):
It will happen with anyone particularly boy-girl dynamics. Girls say these guys are best friends but some guys actually do have the interest of being something more. This is life and this is the real world where these things do happen. It has nothing to do with it being online or offline, and in fact, online relationships tend to be a lot more emotionally involved.
I have girls who are friends whom I have warned that guys are entitled to develop their feelings and that the girls should not feel offended if it does happen with a guy. For example you thought that relationships can not truly exist online. Well my name is Xearo and I have had 3 online relationships with 3 women around the world. You completely counted out the possibility that it could happen. I would assume you had talks with him that would otherwise make it look like he was your boyfriend. Eventually he just got the wrong ideas. Either way I don't think you handled the situation well...but...most young girls I know are unable to do so.
I think the important thing is to appreciate the goodness in people and the fact that we can develop such strong relationships across the earth. It really is an amazing thing. Just be clear (and honest) with the guy and eventually he may come around. If he has super strong feelings for you, then it might be time to cut contact since all you would do is hurt him in the end.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (30 October 2012):
Oh yeah, very relatable.
Online friendships can become very intense because of the anonymity. You don't have your usual barriers up that you have with people in real life. Combined with the fact people fall in love with the idea of someone instead of the true person, things can get weird. I also had a guy become obsessed with me online, back when I was 16. We used IM and it got to the point he'd record whenever I came online and how long it took me to initiate conversation with him. When it took too long for him, he'd confront me and quiz me about why, etc. Needless to say I broke contact soon after that.
But it happens with real life people too. It just means that the interest from one person isn't equal to the other. Personally I'd break it off, a level of discomfort is never a good sign. But you have to make that choice.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (30 October 2012):
 Not usual but they do happen.!it happens with me..I know this someone who I have been friends for a pretty long time and there are up's and down's but you know end of the day iirrespective your going to be there for that person if they need you and vice versa..
I think its pretty harmless,take for instance sibling fights,at the end you still love them to death and you know they'l be there for you,at the heat of the moment everyone says and does things they regret but your loved one's will let it go..this is no different either,sometimes you get irritated sometimes you don't,nothing wrong but it shldnt get that bad,were your mood swings,your bad mood affects him and ruins his day..
Gluck:) x
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