A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why did he go cold? I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 18 months. Right towards the end i met this guy who seemed great and he msg'd me and talked to me all day everyday he was so keen. When my relationship finally fell thru with the bf this guy got even more keen and started asking me to hang with him etc. I was very stand off ish because of all the stuff id put up with in the relationship even tho i wasnt in love with my ex anymore. Anyway this guy continued to persue me and i started liking him not to mention id always thought he was cute and had a little crush on him.We spent heaps of evenings together (i never slept with him even tho i stayed over once or twice) He had a calling in with my ex out one night which resulted in this guy getting hit by jealous ex which i was sure he'd now run a mile from me but he didnt he said he was shaken up but i was worth it.The following week he asked me to be his gf.Three amazing weeks later, he started contacting me less and less... We went away camping for 3 days and he was so hot and cold i felt like he didnt want me there...And i senced something was wrong. Finally, one month after dating he dumped me with the im not ready excuse. Im confused and upset i know he has had many gfs b4 that were all short term so i should have seen it coming but now my trust for males is out the window. A week ago we went out and i had guys cracking onto me (im not overly confident but i know im attractive) and he got a little jealous, yet now his happy to let me go? Why would he go cold like this when things were going so well? Im not clingy i gave his all the space in the world and not once did i suggest we hang out i always waited til he wanted too. Im just so annoyed i would have been happy to be mates with him when i broke up with my ex and he knew what i went thru yet he still persued me like i was some kind of challenge.He says im a cool and beautiful chick and he doesnt want to loose me as a mate. He never tried to aleep with me before he asked me to be his girlfriend he was so respectful. Does a player make girls their girlfriends? Id love some thoughts...
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broke up, crush, emotionally abusive, jealous, my ex, player Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Doesn't sound like a player. Sounds like a man who liked you a lot. You assume that you did something wrong, or that he's not attracted to you, but you don't KNOW for sure what is in his mind.
Maybe he got hit with jealousy over you. Maybe he has a sick dog at home. Maybe your so wonderful he thinks you deserve better than him. Maybe he's worried about the size of his dick. Men have confidence issue too.
Don't know what it is, and your right, "I'm not ready" just doesn't make sense. And no it's not about a challenge, from what you say he doesn't sound the type.
Don't think he's gay either, so please cross that of your list.
You have done nothing wrong and we don't know what's in his mind. He's not a player. I suggest you ask him exactly why he chased you and then decided to keep you as a friend instead. Friends don't act like that.
Just ask him... then get on with your life. As he said "your a cool beautiful chick, someone to be respected", men aren't blind and you won't be single for long.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 November 2011):
 To be honest it doesn't sound from what you have said like he is a player.
Players normanally go out with girls because they want something, most oftenly sex. But as you have not slept together and he has not asked you too it doesn't sound like he was just going out with you for some sort of bennifit.
You mentioned that you always gave him the space he needed? and you always waited for him to contact you first. Maybe he got the impression you weren't really into him and he was being a pest.
It could simply be that he felt the relationship wasn't going very well and you two are better as close friends instead of partners.
Also as he wants to keep in contact with you despite splitting up defointly gives me the impression that he isn't a player and he does generally like you.
As for all of the "why did he do this?" qeustions only he knows the answer, you could try and talk to him about why he felt the need to end the relationship? I suppose that is the only way you will find out.
...............................
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 November 2011):
To be honest it doesn't sound from what you have said like he is a player.
Players normanally go out with girls because they want something, most oftenly sex. But as you have not slept together and he has not asked you too it doesn't sound like he was just going out with you for some sort of bennifit.
You mentioned that you always gave him the space he needed? and you always waited for him to contact you first. Maybe he got the impression you weren't really into him and he was being a pest.
It could simply be that he felt the relationship wasn't going very well and you two are better as close friends instead of partners.
Also as he wants to keep in contact with you despite splitting up defointly gives me the impression that he isn't a player and he does generally like you.
As for all of the "why did he do this?" qeustions only he knows the answer, you could try and talk to him about why he felt the need to end the relationship? I suppose that is the only way you will find out.
...............................
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 November 2011):
To be honest it doesn't sound from what you have said like he is a player.
Players normanally go out with girls because they want something, most oftenly sex. But as you have not slept together and he has not asked you too it doesn't sound like he was just going out with you for some sort of bennifit.
You mentioned that you always gave him the space he needed? and you always waited for him to contact you first. Maybe he got the impression you weren't really into him and he was being a pest.
It could simply be that he felt the relationship wasn't going very well and you two are better as close friends instead of partners.
Also as he wants to keep in contact with you despite splitting up defointly gives me the impression that he isn't a player and he does generally like you.
As for all of the "why did he do this?" qeustions only he knows the answer, you could try and talk to him about why he felt the need to end the relationship? I suppose that is the only way you will find out.
...............................
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