A
female
age
36-40,
*iel
writes:I am currently in an online relationship with a US Army in the middle east who is married. I don't really want to get myself into this kind of relationship that makes me the third party, and on the internet for that matter, but i just can't help myself, he is very irresistible and i just fell hard for him. At first, I just chatted with him just for the sense of chatting, until he opened up about going thru a divorce with his wife who is very uncaring. He told me how he miss her wife and how it seemed like his wife doesn't care for him at all. We chatted for months until i gave in to my feelings. at first, i told him i was starting to really like him, but he overwhelmed me with his simple answer that he's way passed over that because he thinks he has already fallen for me. and i fell in love with him too. Whenever i told him how impossible our relationship is, he'd often tell me it's not cool that i felt that way but he'll just have to prove that he loves me. and my heart always melted every time. is this relationship between us possible, living in this cyber world? He is soon going back to the US and told me he's pursuing the divorce.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (19 June 2012):
 A guy can (and WILL!) say most anything on-line if he believes that he's located a girl who will, possibly, put out for him.....
Part of what we guys say is that our wife:
1. Is a bitch,
2. Never has sex with us,
3. Will soon be divorced from us,
4. Doesn't understand us....
This is all SO cliche.... it seems redundant to repeat it here for you.... but I will....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I too would be very careful about this and tread lightly.
My ex-husband told plenty of women he was separated from me and what a miserable marriage we had... we were not separated... not only were we sleeping in the same bed we were still sexually active...
If he is sad about the divorce he's not ready for a relationship till he's worked that through.
I'd be careful with him till you see actual legal divorce papers.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I do not want to sound cynical, but I am afraid I might come off that way. He sounds like a great guy and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't meet him and see how things go. But, he is also in an extreme situation. First, he is in the Middle East. Second, he is getting a divorce. I would want some proof that the divorce he is going through is a reality. Sometimes people say they are leaving and then end up getting back together. His military tour has obviously been a strain on his relationship and so he is reaching out to someone else. That is fine, but I wouldn't give over my whole heart until I know he is trustworthy and honorable. I have the highest respect for the men and women in the military, but just because they are in the military does not always make them completely honorable and trustworthy in their personal lives. Sometimes these online relationships are good because they serve a purpose for each person. All you can do is try it in real life to see if it works! Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2012):
 The fact that he is MARRIED (HELLO!!) should be a red flag. Of COURSE he says his wife is mean and uncaring... If he told you she was the best thing since sliced bread would you continue talking to him?
The fact that me talks about how much he MISSES his wife is another red flag, at least for you. It means he is not over his wife, he is actively thinking of her and he really isn't ready to jump into a new relationship. Which means that you can end up being either taken for a ride or the rebound, neither are very appealing.
If you think there might be something there between you two I would wait til he is divorced. (HE is not even separated legally from her). MANY guys go through a sense of abandonment, doubts and many other feeling while they are either deployed or just long term away from their family. She might be dealing with the same issues but neither of them are able to begin THAT conversation.
Trust me, I have been there. With a husband in the Army, 3 deployments and countless school/training over the last 14 years.
Slow this down til you know his actions matches his words.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (19 June 2012):
 Cyber relationships do happen; but its not healthy to be infront of a computer all day communicating.
It would be a good idea to meet up if you both can and develop it further from there to see if there is still chemistry.
Goodluck
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