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female
age
26-29,
*orrely
writes:First, please don't answer "Save yourself for marriage," because that's clearly not going to happen in our modern day and age. Secondly, please don't tell me that I'm an idiot who is going to get pregnant.Now.My boyfriend and I have been going out for 11 months, and are both 15. We really care about each other, and we've done everything but sex. If we were to have sex, we would use a condom and I would start on the pill. We're emotionally ready, and I know it will hurt, but i just wanted some opinions. (And btw, please don't say that if i'm asking it here, I'm not ready.)Two questions: 1. do you think we should have sex? why or why not?2. how old were you when you first had sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Ok before you do this check the legal age of having sex because it is different in all states and be safe
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): I have to agree with what CindyCares said.
& just to elabourate on that I would like to add that accidents DO happen! Even if you take the precautions, you could still get pregnant. It does happen. So look at everything that CindyCares pointed out...you need to do all of those things in order to take care of a baby fully. You are too young to be having sex. You'll be happy that you waited.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 No you should not.
Because it's against the law, at your age. Funny how people tends to disregard that. Girls who would not dream of driving without a licence, or using drugs, because it's illegal- think nothing of having illegal underage sex.
And,because sex is an adult activity. Sex has a lot of emotional, social ,psychological and physiological implications that only an adult can comfortably handle. You are not an adult yet. You may be a smart kid- but you are basically a kid.
At your age , you can't drive,drink alcohol, or get a job, or enroll in college, or rent an apartment, or go clubbing, or sign a contract, or legally buy and sell anything. You can't handle inherited money without a tutor, you can't go abroad,or sign up for a beauty contest, without parental permission. Society, and common sense and experience, do not deem you mature enough for handling harmlessly and responsibly ,most of the adult experiences.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): To be blunt, you have no way of knowing if you are ready for sex or not. You are younger than the ages that most people consider mentally/emotionally right for sex. You cannot take a brief trip into an older wiser mind to compare and help you make the decision.
My point is that older people have experienced both ages while younger people have only experienced one of them. And look what the older people virtually always say about this decision with full hindsight.
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reader, dmartin89  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Female anonymous, you are wrong.
He could be sent to jail, it has happened to many boys his age.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Im 15. but i think, if your ready then go for it. its no body else desision par your own and your boyfriends. it may be classed as illegal, but they cant really do anything about it even if they do catch you.. just make sure you use a condom, and be safe. after all your 15 and prob dont want a baby on your hands. Just make the decision by your own means... not what anyone else says..
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reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 1. No, because you are not the legal age of consent..which is 16-18 depending on your state.
Age of consent 16: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia
Age of consent 17: Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Texas
Age of consent 18: Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.
Most states it's 16, so it couldn't kill you to wait another year. There are those who save themselves for marriage even in your generation and I'm not just talking about the religious ones. If you're ready then why ask us these questions? Shouldn't you be asking your mother to take you to the gyno so you can get on on a form of birth control?
2. I was 18 when I lost my virginity. Yes, the legal age of consent in my state. Although, I wish I would have waited because my boyfriend at the time was a complete loser. It just happened, we didn't plan it. Didn't enjoy it, I think it lasted all of 5 minutes because I was in pain.
Wait till you're of legal age..even if it's another year.
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reader, dmartin89 +, writes (7 November 2010):
If you have waited this long, I'm sure you can wait until you are both legal.
There is always the danger with underage sex that someone will find out and report it to the police and your boyfriend could very well be charged with sex with an underage girl which he would get sent to prison for.
It's smart that you have thought about contraception. Wait until you are both of age and you can enjoy it knowing you wont get into serious trouble!
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reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Although the decision ultimately lies with you, you did ask and: no I don't think you should have sex.. you are under the age of consent, which means it would be illegal. And secondly, there's a reason you're asking, and I don't know if you just want to see other people's viewpoints on you having sex, or if it's because you want to know if it's a 'good idea' or not. If it's the latter, you're probably not ready to have sex. I know you said not to say that, and you won't like it, but it's true. If you're unsure then there's no reason to rush into it.
I don't think you're an idiot who's going to get pregnant because you've thought about contraception (although nothing is 100% fail safe), and I definitely don't think you have to wait til marriage. But to be honest, you don't have to have sex. Not just because you're underage and seem unsure [no matter how slightly] but because you're young and might as well just enjoy.. how do I put this.. being sexual without going "all the way". Enjoy kissing, touching etc, it can be just as fun, and save sex for later when you're older and more mature.
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reader, beebs +, writes (7 November 2010):
Let me start by saying I'm still a virgin, and I'm 17. It's not like I'm a prude or anything, I just haven't had a serious relationship for a while. I think that if you feel ready, and you've been going out for 11 months (congrats!) then you should go for it. Just have a really good think about it and make sure you're not going to regret it afterwards. I nearly had sex with my first serious boyfriend and I know now that I would have seriously regretted it. However I only dated him for 3 months before it ended. I think you should really consider whether you want to have sex with him and make sure you don't get pregnant. I know it's unlikely but if you're on other medication make sure it doesnt interact with the pill because that happened to one of my friends' sisters and boom! she got pregnant. Condoms are also a good idea. Make sure your boyfriend also is ready, i know it sounds stupid but his penis may be ready even if he's not actually emotionally ready. Hope this helps... and have fun if you do decide to do it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Hiya
Firstly get yourself on the pill a bit in advance as it sometimes takes a while to get used to it. The pill made me moody one minute and happy the next and I spent a good few months trying new ones.
If you trust this guy and he respects you then go with what you feel. It really is important though that u trust him as you don't want all his mates gossiping about you, you want it to be really special.
Good Luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): I think u should atleast wait till your 17 or 18 cause your more mature @ that age and even though u guys have been together for 11 months that's not that long and your still young u mighrt regret it in the future. And I also think the guy should atleast be more experienced so he would know what he was doing instead of u both looking @ eachother like what goes next,cause u don't want your first time to be awkward. If it does happen w/this guy I think u will know when that time comes let it just be don't plan cause u just get nervouse the whole time. I really hope u do wait until your a lil older
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): OK. Answers:
1. I don't think you should have sex until you are at least 16. You have nothing to lose by waiting. When you start having sex, you take the relationship on to a different level, and there's no going back. You will, most likely, become even closer as a result, but I would just wait until you are a little bit older. I honestly don't know why - it's just my instinct.
For the record, I imagine it will be a perfectly pleasant experience and I think you are in the best situation for this, being in a loving, secure relationship. I also think you sound very sensible, which is a good thing. Well done.
2. I was 16 and a half, and I was the latest person in my peer group by some time. I was exceptionally shy, but the fact that everyone else seemed to have lost their virginity before me made that worse.
However, if I could do everything again, I would wait until I was at least 18.
There is NO RUSH. You have a whole life to have sex. Why rush it?
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reader, smartazngirl +, writes (7 November 2010):
 "First, please don't answer "Save yourself for marriage," because that's clearly not going to happen in our modern day and age. "
Honestly, just because that everyone else is doing it in their teenage years doesn't mean you have to be like that.
1. do you think we should have sex? why or why not?
No, I do not think you guys should have sex because I think you guys are too young for that. I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend before. Personally, I would like to save myself for marriage simply because I do not believe anyone else deserves my virginity more than my husband.
2. how old were you when you first had sex?
I'm still a virgin. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Hello :)
in answer to your question, and I'm guessing you already know this, but, legally you should wait until you're at the legal age; But I'm guessing you don't really car about tht.
It sounds like you're in a great relationship with your partner, and using condoms an going on the pill is a really smart desicion :)
I was 16 when I first had sex, not because I wanted to do it legally, but because I never found the right guy. I'm still wh him now, and were great together.
Just in wondering.. Hav you spoken to your boyfriend about havin sex? As in a proper conversation? This might help you to see when or if you two have sex.
Personally, I think it's totally up to you whether or not you both decide to have sex or not. And about it hurting, just make sure you're turned on enough and if he goes slow it shouldn't hurt as much. It didn't hurt me at all whn I lost my virginity, so it is possible :) also, I know people say "don't expect it to be good" bt I found my first time prety good!
So good luck!
It's nce to hear from someone who knows what she's on about and being active to prevent pregnancy...
Oh and also, dint worry if it doesn't last long. He's probably so excited to be with you in that way he won't last too long.I'm sure you'll do it again asap... Once youhave it you'll want it more haha!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): I, personally, feel that you are too young. I'm not the type to preach for saving yourself for marriage - because I didn't. But I still think 15 is really early to be taking that step. At 15, it can be really hard on you emotionally.
Everyone is different, people mature at different rates and it's hard to really say if you're ready for it or not. I will admit that you sound like you know what you are doing and you are prepared for it.
You've been with your bf for a while, you're using oral contraception and barrier protection and seem to know what you're getting yourself into. But even though you're ready physically, it doesn't necessarily mean you're ready for it emotionally - sex can make you think so differently about someone in either a positive or negative way. You're giving up a precious gift that you can never, ever give again.
I also would like to point out that having sex in highschool might not be the reputation you want to get either. You might be embarassed if other people were to find out. Or what if you do breakup with your boyfriend (I hate to say it, but it's possible)then you would have to consider that other boys you may potentially want to date may only be interested in you to have sex with you. I'm not saying that you're easy by any means but it could happen.
To answer your second question, I waited until I was older and knew I'd be ready...because accidents still happen even when you're careful, I was 22 when I first had sex.
I hope you felt that was a respectful answer to your question. I hope you make the right decision for yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): I havent had sex yet but I think u should wait until ur 1 yr annaiversy (srry cnt spell lol). All tell u why if u dont end up marry him (which u prob wont) then looking bak on it u will feel good knowing u where w/ that guy 4 a whole yr. And what a gr8 1 yr annaversry gift would that be!!!! U could play teenage dream and it would be gr8!!!!
Im 15 to and I feel like u should when ur ready but think about it 4 a few weeks
good luck!
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reader, SmilySmily  +, writes (7 November 2010):
1. I actually don't know what to say .. you two seem to like each other enough and have been together for 11 months. It could be long time but short time too. Since you're not over 15, I think it's better to wait for a while..(i dont want to sound like old-fashioned woman naggin at you but its better to be done when you're bit older i think). Sex is important part of relationship but it's not all about it. You can still see him and have a perfectly good time wihtout sex!!! but you know, at the end of the day, its totally up to you!!!
2. 21!!
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