A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, we're both 18 and we havnt had sex yet (also still virgins). we have been trying to do it recently but every time we try he loses his erection. it's happened 10 times now so we still havent had sex. we have both spoke about it and both want to do it but he wont go to the clinic with me. I suggested viagra but am not sure if it will help. It's becoming a real problem and if it carries on i know we will split up. Does anyone have any advice? im so upset right now, any help would be great.do you think viagra would help? and what other options are there?Thanks
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erection, split up, viagra Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 February 2010):
 Hey! I forgot, bloody Johnny is so needy, he loves compliments, so don't forget to tell him how pretty he is, how strong he is and how wonderful he's gonna feel.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 February 2010):
hahaha... tea takes long in Britain... :)
Glad I took a break, gave me a chance to look at your post again. Didn't see the part where it says that you are both virgins, so no sex is happening anyway.. hahahaha...
I want you to forget about penetration. You guy's are getting yourself all scared about this, and that's why nothing is working. He tries, but he's nervous so "Johnny" penis gets scared and doesn't want to play. You both start talking and talking, so Johnny Penis thinks he's done something wrong and he hides further away. Now the next time you try to have sex Johnny Penis is already scared, he knows something nice should happen, but he knows that he gets things wrong and you and your boyfriend get upset.
Hahahaha.. I love Johnny Penis, because Johnny Penis is the dumbest thing in the world. He only has one intrest and what he likes is dark, wet holes. He dosen't like noise, and he gets scared by fuss, but he knows what he likes and eventually he'll get there. We got to show Johnny Penis that we is not angry with him, and he can take his time to get comfortable and explore things.
So, forget about Johnny Penis, he'll be ok in the end. We need to concentrate on you and your boyfriend. A man has many places that give him pleasure, you need to start touching these and leave Johnny Penis alone. A man also likes to give a woman pleasure, so he can give you pleasure and this will help excite him. Baths are a nice thing to share together, lots of slipping and sliding and good clean fun. When you show your boyfriend he's more than a penis and there is no judgement, no anxiety and no rush, then he'll relax and be able to get comfortable, and so will you.
What about Johnny, well he's still here, and now that everyone is having fun in a relaxed way, he'll stand up, get interested and want to play. Don't give into him right away, make sure that you and your boyfriend play for a long time. Then Johnny will act like a spoilt child, he'll forget about past failures and stand up and start shouting, "let me in"...
This is the time to stick on the condom. Johnny won't like it, but at this point, he bloody won't care because he knows what's coming..
If he goes down and starts to sulk, you can stroke Johnny, or even give him a little kiss, or ignore him and keep playing with you and your boyfriends sweet interesting bits. Johnny will come up again, he's like that, one track mind and he's very jealous, he hates getting left out.
This is when you can start penetration... if Johnny goes down, no problem, he's just nervous. Stop, start playing and stroking again. Eventually Johnny will understand and he'll stop going down.
Make sex about fun, games and joy. It's more than penetration, there are kisses, touching, tickling, lots of areas over the body to play with. Do these things first, get both of you suitably arroused, then the nervousness will stop, and things will work just as they should.
Talking about Viagra is the worst thing you can do. This makes your guy feel like a failure, like he's got a medical condition or he's broken. Try my way instead, much more fun and more likely to work. Please remember though, wear a condom. Johnny may hate it, but he'll understand if this is the only way he'll get some fun, and it'll relax you and your boyfriend if you both know there's no chance of pregnancy. Condoms are free at the family planning clinic, and pick up some KY Jelly or spermicide, it helps make you both moist, so things are easier to slide in. It's also a hell of a lot of fun to put on, and I promise you Johnny will love it... Be careful, and remember have fun, this is not a bloody job interview.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 February 2010):
At 18 years old, he's much to young to take Viagra. If he really has a problem, he can't just cover it up, he needs to see a doctor if it's a medical problem.
Usually erection problems, are caused by anxiety and fear, and no tablets are needed at all. Your boyfriend is probably frightened that he won't please you, so instead of just enjoying himself, he's stressed out and anxious. Once he can't get an erection once, then he is convinced he's failure and it will always happen everytime he tries to have sex.
What he needs is to get rid of his anxiety. Dwelling on the issue, trying to get him to go to the doctor, all of this is making things worse. He feels stupid now, like he's broken and something's not right with him.
Probably 80% of sex happens in the brain, (statistics made up by me) the other 20% is in the body. You need to back of and stop making this guy nervous. He must be worried your gonna leave him because he can't get it to stay up.
mmm... Cure... (give me a couple of moments, I'll get back to you.) First of all, you and him are going have a week of no sex.... (miamine goes off to make a cup of tea and grab a cigarette)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): He could be just nervous. If this is the case, just let things build up and happen.
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A
female
reader, Sydnee +, writes (8 February 2010):
Dear AnonYour boyfriends problem is purely about nerves.try gentle forplay to initiate arousal do something sexy and provocative settle his nerves he will be able to perform dont pressure him because this will make him nervous morecomfort him keep him upbeatviagra in somone so young is not a good idea, it could form an unhealthy dependancy on the drugif this doesnt work see a doctor as they can help with sexual anxietyGood LuckSydnee x
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