A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 40 years old and coming out of a dead relationship. By chance during an office reorganisation I ended up sitting at a desk next to a girl that I knew a little bit but not well. She is the same age and single, divorced. We sat beside each other for eight months and got on brilliantly, work was something I looked forward to and we spent our days laughing and became close friends. I eventually confided in a mutual friend (female) that I had fallen for this woman friend. A couple of days later she told me that the object of my affection had also spoken to her, which she thought very funny and said that she should knock our heads together.After a works meal out I drove her home one night and she invited me in, but I declined, Doh... On another occasion she invited to go around to her place to watch a movie one evening.Things went on as they were for a while, partly because I was not yet out of my old relationship (although it was dead we were still living together) and I had no intention of making her become 'the other woman', which I didn't think was fair. My lady friend also confided to our mutual friend that she didn't think that she was ready for another relationship just yet.After eight months of happiness there was another office reorganisation and we now find ourselves a couple of desks apart, so we are not quite so close although we still see a lot of each other. I get the impression from our mutual friend that she is still not wanting a relationship (she has a young child who keeps her busy) and I don't know if the attraction is mutual. I think it is, but I remain confused.What adds to my confusion is that often when we are doing things together I find that our hands, our fingers often meet. For example when we were trying to fix a printer, and when we were searching for some items in the stationery cupboard (cue the jokes about that).It's about a year since we first found ourselves at adjoining desks and I am never so happy as when i am in her company. But I am reluctant to say anything in case I have judged it wrong and I wreck a good friendship. What do I do and do you think there is anything there?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (7 July 2012):
 The one thing you have failed rather pointedly to mention is whether or not you are still living with another woman who thinks you are still hers. You may feel that what you have at home is "dead" but perhaps your other half does not see it this way. Just because you have become attracted to another woman at work, does not mean you have gone about things correctly. Your friend sees this too and she has no intentions of being the other woman either. So get in or get out. You can't keep juggling two women. The results are always disastrous.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 I think you should definitely ask her out on a date. Women don't touch men by accident...at least I never have. I have always been very deliberate in brushing up against a man, touching a man, etc. She may be hesitant after being divorced to get into another relationship that may leave her alone. She may also be hesitant of bringing a man into her child's life. You could always ask her out and then once you feel comfortable with that, ask if she would like to do something together that involved her child. From what you have told us here, she does at least like you.
...............................
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (6 July 2012):
 You mention catching a meal after work, going to her house to watch a movie, but have you guys gone out on any "official" dates, yet? If you haven't, I think you should start there and see what kind of reaction you get. If she's open to pursuing a relationship with you, she will want to spend more time with you outside of the work environment. Having some casual dates, keeps the friendship in tact, While allowing for a romance to blossom.
After spending more time with you, outside of work, she may decide she IS ready for a relationship.
You should try to court her before telling her of your feelings. That's just my opinion, though. I'm a little old-fashioned that way.
...............................
|
