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male
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anonymous
writes: Can someone explain to me what love can do to you? I've been reading many things on the internet about love and how seretin or somthing can decrease and how men don't have as much testosterone as normal. Is this true or just false?I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and the first 3-4 months were awesome! Then all of a sudden I was hit with a bout of depression for no reason at all. This led me to believe it was my girlfriend but it could have been somthing else such as college or work. My mum reckons it was my brains way of bringing me back down to earth after meeting my girlfriend. Back then I would see her everyday almost but now I don't want to see her as much. I do love her very much and If I imagine life without her I get upset. I just don't feel as in love with her as I did however could this be because I'm stressed about other things or what? Is is normal?
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female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Love can make you feel overwhelmed with emotion, and for that one special person, words cannot even begin to explain the way you feel for them. When you see them, you feel a rush and your heart beats twice as fast, your legs go weak and you feel like you cant breathe because you feel so much.Hope it helps.
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (14 July 2007):
DJ8433's answer is so man-to-man good there's not much to add!But I would add that it's possible that your mind is "regrouping" to take the romance to the next level, so you feel like you need to focus on other aspects of your life and see a little less of her, but that's good! She should be doing the same. But then when you get together it can grow even richer. If you can't imagine life without her, then you have to plan for the future. Or maybe Ishould say a future with her. Thus you have to strengthen and clarify yourself.You might not feel ready for a deeper involvement. But you still need to make her happy and strike a balance. I'll bet the "old"interest is just lying dormant temporarily! Best of luck!!!! Be thankful you know her.
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A
female
reader, LynstHolin +, writes (14 July 2007):
The scientific study of love is very new. What studies that are out there involve very few test subjects, and the results are often contradictory. So I wouldn't take what they say too seriously. Depression is not a normal consequence of love. If it's a relationship with a lot of problems, especially if she treats you badly, that could be causing your depression. But it's not love itself causing the depression. (Has your girlfriend ever been verbally/emotionally abusive? That definitely can cause depression.)You don't say how old you are, but I'm guessing late teens/early twenties. That's not an unusual age to experience your first depression. And if you are working and going to college at the same time, that's a lot of pressure on you. If you can find any way to lighten your load, I would recommend doing it. Doing absolutely nothing productive can be very therapeutic. Also, seeing your girlfriend less may be good--giving yourself your own space is also therapeutic. Just don't let yourself become isolated from friends and family--they are your support network, you need them (they love you, never lose sight of that).One thing to consider--if you were crazy-happy, and then fell into a depression, you may be bi-polar (manic depressive). I wouldn't recommend breaking up with your girlfriend right now, unless she treats you badly. If the relationship is strong enough to last, it can take you seeing her a bit less for a while. Just keep communicating with her. Don't hide what you've been going through from her.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (14 July 2007):
 When you fist meet someone there is a major pheromone rush. Some people like this part of dating so much that it prevents them from getting into meaningful relationships. They will jump from new relationship to new relationship just to get that rush. What you're experiencing is normal. Do you still feel attracted to her? Do you still talk about building a future together? Do you have similar interests? Can you just hang out together and enjoy being with each other? OR Are you repulsed by her. Do you feel the need to get away from her? What initially starts out as a normal animalistic attraction sometimes fades when we realize that they're not the one for us. It's o.k. If you're still into her, do things for her that make her feel more attracted to you. Take her to a movie, out on a date. By her a card that tells her how beautiful she is. Make love to her for a few hours. Treat her like she's the only woman in the world. If you want to keep her, give her what she wants...A man.
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