A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys My ex just broke up with me 2.5 months ago, she said i hurt her because we had a few arguments and i yelled a couple of times but not enough to warrant a break up, then after a few days of not talking we spoke and she had decided she wanted out. She said we were arguing too much and if its like this now what will it be like in the future, i was drinking a bit and let myself go, When she met me i was this confident good looking sexy dude, but as time went on i neglected keeping fit and started drinking a lot, i would be grumpy all the time but i loved her and wouldnt leave her considering she was annoying at times and a bit dippy, but i loved that and basically dedicated all my time to her which was my mistake, as soon as i did that she became distant and i started to become clingy, well we broke up beginning of december i thought cool she can have space and i will change and better myself and go back for her, i wished a merry xmas but can you beleive she didnt even wish me a happy new year, i never bugged her and i never drunk dialled her number or kept texting or emailing i just left her to her own devices, to cut a long story short, i went back for her end of january looking good etc and i had changed. I asked her to take me back but she said no i had hurt her in the past and that she put her feelings aside and even gave the whole i love you but not in love with you, anyway i pleaded not begged and said to her if this is it i need closure and we should never speak or contact again, she was sad and hesitated but then said ok!!! i am changing so i can get over this and am going back to the gym, i was wondering do you think she is in pain or has she just moved on, i mean 3years together and 2 months space, and she told me she was meeting someone in a couple of weeks, wtf??Girls your feedback would be much appreciated....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): thanks k_c100 that was really nice to read, i thank you.
I reckon she met someone while we were together because she said she had felt this since august but didnt even tell me, but looking back now she was slowly cutting me out of her life and becoming more forth coming,
anyway she was more concerned about her happiness, she said she was doing this for her it is better for her.
I know her parents were arranging for her to meet a guy to marry, she is sikh you see and i am not so her parents didnt know and have been pressuring her to marry, i think she met this fella thought him or me?? and went with him..i was her first love aswell so she was a virgin when we met but i suppose that doesn't matter anymore!!! my view is you dont just walk out on someone because you argue, you sit and work things out dont you think??
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 February 2009):
 To be honest I have no idea what is going on in her head here! She claims you "hurt" her and from what you have said you didnt really do anything wrong apart from get a bit lazy! She cant claim you hurt her when you had a typical relationship (arguing, being a bit lazy etc) - to me it seems that there is something else going on, another reason for her wanting to end it.
You seem to be a really nice guy and you have tried your best to win her back - I dont think there is anything more you can do.
I'm sure she will be hurting and missing you in her own way seen as you spent 3 years together but she clearly has moved on if she is wanting to date other people so I think you need to do the same.
You deserve someone that will appreciate your efforts and someone that wants to be with you; not someone who gives you the "i love you but I'm not in love with you" nonsense! She is the one that has lost out here, not you. Make sure you cut off all contact with this girl and move on, dont waste anymore time on someone who doesnt appreciate it!
I hope this helps!
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