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age
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writes: I have written on here three time already but wanted to update you. My ex (broke up 7 months now) really wants me back and I am re-considering. He cheated on me whilst I was pregnant but they didnt have sex until we broke up and there relationship continued. Recently however they had been arguing alot and he says it is because he is still in love with me and wants to give our relationship another go.He broke up with her a few weeks back and she is going to go back to canada where she is originally from unless he asks her to stay. He says that he has no intention of asking her to stay and realises that what he felt for her was not love and only lust. He says that he wants to make our relationship work and that he has learnt so much since being away. We have three children two boys 4 and 2 and a 4 month old daughter.He realised that her intentions were to take him from me and that it was based on our downfalls. She used to strive off the fact that we would argue alot and when we both stoped arguing their relationship started to suffer as she would ask why he didnt say anything bad about me anymore.He introduced her to his family and our kids. he crys to me all the time saying that he realises how important our family is. He continued to see his children (took boys 2 nights a week) when we broke up and gave us 25% of his income. He says sorry all the times and say he wishes he could erase the past. He said he just felt like I wasnt giving him enough attention (which is true) and that is why he took it from her.He says that he had made a huge mistake and really wants to try again. He says he is constantly thinking of me and when he was with her he felt as though he was living a lie. He realises now how important our family and our relationship is. This girl was his only relationship after me. We started dating at 16 and are now 25. Do you think it is a good idea to reconsiser. Is their any success stories?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 Hi
Sorry to hear things didnt work out. If you can stay on good terms for the kids though thats good.
Although i think he should of waited a while yet before introducing the kids to someone new. And should of spoken to you about it first, thats a tad incensetive in my opinion for you to be told by your child.
Good luck with it all.
I didnt get back with my ex from 16 yrs ago i was mentioning in my previous reply. Its funny how things work out isnt it.
Onwards and upwards though.
C xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to update you. We spoke for ages and had a pre-limenary counselling session. We could see that there were still so much baggage between the both of us and there was still so much hurt from the past present. In the end I told him that I didnt think it would work and he sounded relieved to hear me say that (which was a suprise to me). It was as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulder, which made me sad.
Anyways we kept to minimum contact, then a few weeks later he kissed me, I kissed him back, then told him to come round later. That evening I changed my mind and said that it wouldn't be right. He said he felt the same.
A week later when My oldest son came home from his dads. he told me that they had spent the night at the other womens house. I was really upset.
Anyway he has decided to give their relationship another go, I still love him and dream of him every night but I know I need to move on and that is my goal.
Thankyou all who responded.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Hi
This guy has made a mistake and has admitted it. It seems as though he is really sincere when he says sorry.I think that he would really try to make things work this time. Everyone deserves a second chance and you have been together since 16, which is quite a long time to just throw in the towel. I would say that you should give him a chance. Try and re build your family.
Good Luck,mail me if you wann talk
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (24 September 2007):
Hi
This is a real tricky one because different circumstances would make for a different answer. But the fact you are both young, the fact that you have children and the fact that you have feelings for him still (im assuming cuz i didnt spot that in your question) makes me say yes.
If you're in the Uk get the book by relate called 'After an affair' or after the affair, cant remember which its called. But its possible to get through this and be a family again.
Sometimes people settle down too young and need to still grow, live in more ways and learn. The fact he has done that, now has shown him the grass isnt greener on the other side. I had 16 yrs away from someone and recently am considering going back. Although it was me that broke his heart back then. But we both learnt a lot in the last 16 yrs. We met age 15 but didnt have kids.
But the definate must is him NOT having anyhting to do with that woman again.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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