A
male
age
30-35,
*ragileheart
writes:Please read all!!!! I need help With this. Well i'm in my last year in school and I'm under a lot of stress with school and in my relationship. I haven't been perfectly happy in a long time in my relationship. I constantly switch between happiness and sadness. Every now and then something triggers it off for instance today was really cold and wet and my girlfriend was going off with her parents but wanted me to drop up her handbag before she left. I was staying in a friends house where she left her handbag so anyway i walked up through the rain and cold and gave her the handbag i said happy six month anniversary and she said you too and then said see you next week and she closed the door then. My friends house is out on the road her parents were gonna take she didn't offer me to come in out of the cold I was freezing and the most I got was a bare hug :( so I walked to my friends house in an absolute rage because once again she failed to think of me :( i've been left in the cold before her mum once said i could come up and then when I had taken the train up she changed her mind and I nearly had no where to go and I'm only allowed see my girlfriend every two weeks for two days and one night i don't understand why her parents don't let me stay anymore i haven't stayed there since summer :( its not easy for me to get to where she lives since i don't have a car and since I can't stay there so I've to try and find somewhere to stay but thankfully Ii made friends there so I can usually stay with them. We're born on the same day and she didn't get me a birthday card she had only came back from holidays two days before but after our birthday she kept saying she was going to get me one but then said i'll get you one next year. I write her this message every single night telling her much I love her and i asked her to do the same or even at the weekends and she couldn't do it she fell asleep before she'd write it to me so i basically felt worthless she said she hates writing them. She doesn't do much for me :( I do loads for her and then get thrown out in the cold. She is loving and caring like she does tell me she loves me alot and she does worry about me but she'd never stand up for me against her parents. I get soooo mad at her sometimes its unbelievable sometimes. I miss when i was happy i still love her. She used to kiss both girls and boys. She said she kissed girls because it was fun but I asked her to stop when we started going out because it broke my heart :( and she said she did and last night she told me she broke her promise to me :( she said when we were going out a few weeks after she made the promise she kissed a girl. So she cheated on me :( and didn't say a word about it for about five months now because she forgot about it :( this is really killing me what if she does it again :( and i've talked to her about putting me first and she said she would but still didn't i even started fights because one night after a real fight she said she was so scared she was gonna lose me and she became so attached then she got relaxed again and I dunno thought I could be taken for granted Ii stared fake fights just to try make her go like that again it didn't work :( Ii know that was mean of me but talking didn't work so i got desperate I do love her but I dunno if I can cope with the pain much longer what should i do. PLEASE HELP. PLEASE
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female
reader, Petina  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 I'm sorry to say this but if you were the real love of her life she wouldn't treat you this way. You sound as if you know deep down inside that this is not going to be a long term relationship. She seems to be looking around for something else, maybe she is not sure of who she wants a boy or a girl and needs to find herself. When she kissed a girl you are right, that is cheating on you. You need to find other outlets and interests so that this doesnt destroy you. You deserve better as you sound like a caring person and don't deserve this kind of treatment.Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): http://www.selfcreation.com/love/love_painful.htm
There is no answer to your question, however, try the link above and click on the links inside the article, such as self acceptance and awareness and do some soul searching on your own....see what answers you come up with.
Take care.
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