A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm so miserable and lonely in my marriage and don't know what to do. Sometimes things are fine and we get on ok, other times things are just shocking and we don't even remotely get each other.We've been together 12 years and despite my wish to have children don't have any as my husband never wants to have sex. We try and get on and just end up arguing over stupid things with him blaming alcohol or tiredness for every argument we have.I have a brief affair earlier this year and despite him saying he wants to work things through he keeps throwing it back in my face. The reason that happened is I tried to talk things through and he just doesn't seem to understand or listen to anything I'm saying.Should we just give up? The resentment for the past 12 years seems to be too great to allow us to work. I'm so resentful that I've given the best years of my life to someone and achived nothing as a result. He's resentful that I fell in love with someone else who was willing to give me that things I desperately want.What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): You seem like your going through hard times. You may want to consider moving on. If he's not having sex with you he might A-not interested B-seeing another woman/man. And with him being into alcohol you may want to re think the whole children idea for right now. I mean to you have to really consider is this the man I'd want to father and act as a example for my children? It's better to leave a marriage without kids and rebuild your own life with just one mouth to feed (your own). Take it from the daughter of two divorced, it's not a bucket of sunshine growing up in a single parent home. It can lead to serious issues down the line.
A
female
reader, Petina +, writes (23 November 2008):
 You need to try a bit harder. Complacency has allowed another man to come between you. If you both work at the relationship then there would be no room for anyone else. You need to remember the reasons why you fell in love with your husband all those years ago and try to rekindle those old feelings. If you both don't try and it is all one sided then I'm afraid you will drift even further apart. Children arent always the answer to bring people together infact they can tear you apart if y ou arent strong enough. If you work at it together,then you may get a nice suprise at the end of it because it will come naturally and not forced. I hope this helps.
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