A
male
age
30-35,
*oafreak
writes:Hey.Today I told the girl I like how I feel. I thought she liked me but when I told her her response was "i like you but not in that way. You're like my best friend. I mean thing change and maybe feelings change. I just want to stay freinds right now..." This really got me down because it is how most of the girls I've liked responded when I told them. Could I win her over and if so how?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):
Look up "ladder theory" online. It explains it best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I just want to say that has been the story of my life. I really like a woman and all I get from her is the I just want to be best friends. I also want totknow how I can winthe heart of my best friend. [personal information removed by moderator, please create an account if you would like people to contact you here]
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A
female
reader, lushlass93  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 if she doesnt feel the same way she may not have relised she feels the same way yeti was friends with my lad befor i relised i liked himone day i just realised and so did he and we have been together for 2months and we are inseprable but being friends first actually helps relationships as you can trust each other more and when you break up you can still be friendswait for her and it might turn out she likes you
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 You need to woo her first and romance her before you can tell her your feelings.
If you are just a friend to her and you tell her your feelings, she wont feel the magic of your love.
You need to treat her in a very special way and pay more attentions to her .
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Maverick has given you really sound advice here. Us ladies like to be treated with respect and you sound like a lovely young man. Any lady that captures your heart will be very lucky indeed,I really hope she does respond to your affections, if not all is not lost. There are plenty of women out there who will be proud to have you as a boyfriend. Good luck Hun. Dusky xxx.
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A
male
reader, maverick +, writes (14 February 2008):
Yes you can try to win her over.
Everyone seems to believe you are supposed to stand in the middle of a car park or something and people will walk up to and decide whether or not they like, hate or attracted to you.
You do realise you can attract girls? You have a lot more control than you might think.
For now your best bet is to remain friends with her. You seem to be stuck quite firmly in the friend zone. And you will have to stay there for a bit.
Do you talk to her about her problems?
Do you talk to her about your problems?
Are you always mindful of her feelings and never offend her?
Do you check up on her often to see if she's ok?
Or do you:
Tease her very now and again, just so lightly for a lark?
Hold her by the shoulders and "drive" her round the mall shops?
Do you encourage (or drag her) out to do and try new things and places?
You will need to practice being your friendly funny flirty fun-self around girls. And not "just be yourself".
Learn to make positive prolongued eye-contact, learn conversational skills, how to make a girl the centre of attention, positive and confident body posture and language, si-associating from her problems and connecting withe her fun side....
There are many books that can help you with this, so chaeck out you library or book store under Psychology or Relationships or Self-Help.
And one final thing to add, being in the friend zone isn't all doom and gloom. From my friends experience, once you build the intimacy with a long-term frind and cross over into in a deeper realtionship they can work really well. But you will need to learn to break out, in to as more sexy person.
And in your instance, you should really look to date other girls to build you relationship experience up. That doesn't mean you should treat any less favourably. This is all trial and error, and if you treat any one of them wrong just once. Just once. Just remember that you are cabale of hurting your friend as well. If you're serious about building a deep intimate and meaningful realtionship, then you will be in this for the long-haul.
Good luck, M
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A
male
reader, BadVoice +, writes (14 February 2008):
Why don't you just respect her wishes and remain her friend
We can't alwways get the woman we want, but in time we do get a woman we love. Concentrate on you. Make yourself desirable and women will flock to you. Do yourself a favor and concentrate on yourself.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Then you need to honor that by just being her friend for right now. Feelings do change and if you're there for her as a friend and not trying to push her into a relationship then it's very possible that her feelings may grow more to be more intimate for you. You guys are still young, you just need to give her some time. You told her how you feel and she told you how she feels and right now I'd say there's not much more you can do then just be sweet to her. Good luck love!
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