A
female
age
30-35,
*averick494
writes:Can you rekindle old friendships that died at your own hand years ago?The reason I'm asking is because 3 years ago I was part of a group of tight knit friends but after a severe falling out with one of them, they abandoned me. I'm not blameless in the situation: in hindsight I realize I made some bad mistakes and said things I should not have. Looking back, the whole matter seems trivial (study based) but at the time we all took it very seriously. I never apologized because at the time I felt I was right. Last week I spotted one of them (I'll call her Sarah) in the shopping mall. I can't help but thinking of the good times we had. It has me pondering about contacting them again and saying sorry, but after 3 years I wonder if I should even bother. The funny thing is that we're all still friends on facebook and they never removed me, so it would be simple to contact them. It's just that after all this time doing so seems like a mountain to overcome. Any advice?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Glad to hear the positive developments,and best of luck for this upcoming meet up !
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 April 2011):
maverick494 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you two for your answers! An update on my situation:
I went ahead and sent a message with a general apology about what happened and I've gotten replies from all of them saying they had long forgotten about that and didn't even blame me, let alone really remember what it was about anymore. It was all "lets meet up again" "hugs and kisses" which was pretty much the last thing I expected. We're going to meet up with everyone together in the summer when 2 of them return from an internship in Australia.
So thank you two for that last push I needed to bite the bullet and get it over with. Stupid how things could become so huge in my mind while in reality it didn't matter anymore. I wish I had done this sooner, haha.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (28 March 2011):
Sure, why not ? I suppose that, at your age, 3 years sound like a heck of a lot of time.... but it's not.You don't even need to make a song and a dance about it or to reshash in painstaking details who did what to whom and why. Just contact them one of them, or all, writing them simpy and sincerely more or less what you told us : hey guys, I miss you and I miss the great times we had together. Then I was sure I was right, now in hindsight I see how I may have contributed to the situation, and I regret it. What do you say if we all put this to rest and start anew ?...Keep in mind , though, that generally it's not by chance that we have different friends at different stages in our life. People that are perfect for us at some point may become less so later on. You may find that ,regardless of that old falling out, now you don't get along as well as before, or you don't find them as fun and entertaining as before. But still, it's worth a try. Life is too short for holding grudges ,particularly over minor incidents.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 I think you should go for it and contact them. Everyone makes mistakes in the past but three years on i am sure you have all matured and let go of the past. I think you should contact them and ask them to meet up and see if you can all be friends again. It may take a while to get to know them again but am sure in time you can be as close to them again as you were in the past. Goodluck.
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