A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 years old soon, and i like a man who is 42. My birthday is coming up soon and he said he will go.He has stared at me and looked at me alot, stood close to me when i have been talking to other people, once he looked at me through the corner of his eye when i was sat next to him,put his arm round me, smiled at me, e.t.c, but he denied he liked me when someone asked him about it infront of me, but another time i heard he did say he liked me behind my back, and he thought i was lovely but didnt think i was interested. Do you think he does like me really and if so what should i say to him ?. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SarahLynnePreston  +, writes (25 July 2009):
Okay he could be interested in you, but honestly the only way to find out is to just ask yourself don't rely on hearsay. If he doesn't give you a straight answer then it's possible he does, but it's more likely that he doesn't know how to tell you that he isn't interested with out hurting you. if a guy denies that he likes you in front of his friends he's just a loser & is probably only trying to get laid, so if you really like this guy don't give in no matter how much you want to. Since he said that he doesn't like you to his friends right in front of you this gives you the right to show him that you don't have to waste your time on him by flirting with other guys in front of him which will prove if he is speaking truthfully. If he goes off and pouts call him pathetic, If he gets jealous & tries to fight then you say well i thought you didn't like me, If he doesn't do anything he just doesn't care & there's really nothing to say but fuck it
A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (10 May 2008):
Your situation is a bit complicated - age gap relationships are, but they're worth it and usually the older person can guide it. If possible, make it less important in your life so you can be a bit freer - that's attractive. Just let it happen - if he takes your arm, lean a bit closer to hint that things are cool, but not so much that it's too obvious. Just stand close, be a bit touchy-feely and let him lead. He should get the point. If you want to start a conversation, introduce yourself again and just start asking him about himself. Just a bit, so he can run with it. Just let him guide the conversation and stay close. If you want a date, ask if you can go along on whatever mission he's talking about. Tell him you're interested in what he's doing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): I'm wondering how to start a conversation with him next time i see him, that can lead to me asking him out, if he doesnt ask me. Another thing i forgot to mention is that last time we saw each other, we were walking next to each other and linking our arms. I dont know if that means anything though. At first, me and him and his friend were walking together like that, then he stopped and spoke to the friend as i carried on walking a little bit, then he came up to me and linked me again and it was just us two walking together.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): And also, to goth pod, my parents have a similar age gap too : ). Also he isnt the first man in his early forties who i have liked, i liked another who i met when i was 21, and last saw last year, before i met this guy. That was very complicated though, but so far, he seems different to this guy. I think things might turn out better with this guy.
I generally like being around older people rather than people my own age, i'm not sure why. Probably because they can be more mature.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Thank you very much for your replies. He doesnt work with me, he works with a family member of mine. We met by chance one night as i was out with this family member and we bumped into this guy and his friends in a pub. When he saw me there, he told my family member to bring me to a party that he was going to afew weeks later, and since then all the other stuf i told you about has happened.
A long term relationship he was in ended at the end of last year, i met him soon after it had happened. I havent seen him for quite a while actually, as last time i saw him he seemed very upset over his ex, that was just over a month ago, so i decided then to just bide my time with him. I think it's a good sign that he said he'd come to my birthday though.
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (30 April 2008):
He likes you, and he's terrified to tell you because he doesn't want to get rejected(again). After a while, some guys just stop asking, because they are rejected too often to bear. You didn't mention where you met - if at work, he may be worried about "sexual harassment" - something most guys don't know how to define and tend to err on the side of safety. Is he single and available? If you like him, you might want to ask him out for coffee, away from folks you know, and he would have a chance to be more honest than in an environment of peers, either his or yours. An age gap relationship can help both folks learn and grow in ways that an age matched one will never do. Some of my best memories was with a woman less than half my age(both adults) and it was very good for us both. It was terribly sad when she finally left - probably both our faults......
Generally, guys take longer to learn the ropes - sometimes much longer, and so the older guy, younger girl situation so often works well. And he is established - don't underestimate that. Good luck.
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