A
male
age
41-50,
*ieron
writes:Hi my name is Kieron and up intill a month ago i was one of the happyest men youcould meet. But that all changed when my partner told me she was leaving. It all started about a 3 monthes ago i have had some problems with myself due to things in the past and can find myself being very controlling. Also when i get upset it has been known to turn to anger, but only towards myself so have self harmed. I have done this in front of her and have also got cross when she wanted to go out with friends, Have even told her what to wear. I can never imagine the effect that has had on here. But it got to the stage where she said she needed some time out. I have since got profesionell help with my issues and am making massive progress even though we are apart. When she said she was staying with her mum to get some space she told me she was coming home and i should just be passiante. After about two weeks she returned home. But it was to tell me she is not coming back, since then she has forged my signiture and got rid of our house, leaving me homeless and reported my phone as stolen because we shared a contract. Emptied the house of all furniture, infact i got out of there with clothes tv dvd player and some personal effects. I know to you reading this it must sound like a night mare, but i understand why she has done it and do not blame her. We still love each other and talk about getting back together, we are going to relate so we can work on the trust issue and i am trying to do everything in my power to show her i can be the man she feel in love with again. I can not exspress how much this women means to me not only is she the love of my life she is my best friend. So not only do i have to live without here i have to live with knowing its my fault i am. I have to try and get up every morning remmember to breath and go to work so she can see i am strong and can support her but its just so hard. After you have heard all this i was just wondering if there is anyone out there that has hurt the person that they adore. And did you come out the other side, i mean does love over come it all, i know she loves me even as i am writing this she has text just saying ( ilove you sausage ) that is our nick name for each other. I cant let her go because i cant live without here. If any one has any ideas of what i can do to help her feel strong again and show her i am still the man she loves i just lost my was for a bit, please let me know. Thank you for taking the time to read this
View related questions:
best friend, player, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Lots of people hurt the person they adore most, and this is one of the main problems when it comes to relationships. And as the old saying goes, "You hurt the ones you love". There was a time that I got mad because of something and started shouting and swearing at my boyfriend. I am not ashamed to admit that it was totally unnecessary and out of order, especially since it hurt him so much. He hates to hear me swear, because he knows that I never really do. Yet, I adore him! So how could I just shout and swear? I really don't know. But I've learnt from it, as I believe love conquers all.
If you truly love each other, then there is always hope. Maybe she is your soul mate, but earthly things got in the way a bit. As you're on the mend (which is always nice to hear, well done), then don't be too harsh on yourself and give yourself a chance. She obviously loves you too, so I believe there is definitely hope for you guys. Good luck.
A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (30 April 2008):
 I think being apart from her will do both of you good. She will have space and time to find herself again away from a controlling relationship and you will have space and time to work through your issues which is crucial to you if you want to have a normal healthy relationship with anyone.
I would also like to point out you say a lot that you are working through it to show her you can be strong, or to get her to come back - that wont work. You have to sort yourslef out because you want to, not because you want someone else to think you are getting over things.
Everyone hurts people they love sometimes, its a part of life but i dont believe that love overcomes everything. Sometimes you need to walk away from a relationship no matter how much you love the person. If she is still contacting you it makes me think she's not ready to move on yet but a month really isnt a long time when you are trying to change so keep seeing professionals and receiving help and keep in touch with your ex as friends so that you are leaving the door open to restart the relationship somewhere down the line.
Brooke
x
...............................
|
