A
female
age
41-50,
*iz_e
writes:Hi,My boyfriend and were together for 18 months. He left his girlfriend of 7 years for me, who he's cheated on all the way through. He'd also cheated many times on his girlfriend of 5 years before that but dumped her for the next.He told me he felt differently about me, wanted marriage for the first time and told his friend and family I was the one, that'd he never cheat or leave me.For the last year, I had to move away for work but it was only temporary and he was meant to be moving up. I know he was finding it hard on his own but he said he wanted to come up to me as propoerty was cheaper so I didn't say I'd get a job near him. Also, he was having a tough time at work and was very stressed about that.Anyway, completely out of the blue he phoned me and told me he'd had a one-night stand with a girl from work a few days before. Over a few days of conversation, he said it had been the worst week of his life and he wished he could take it back, that he'd ruined everything with me and still loved me but he couldn't trust himself not to do it again.He's ended up with this girl now and three months on, I saw pictures of them looking so happy together. He got demoted from his job and had to move in with her 'cos he had nowhere else to go. She's a very attractive girl - more so than me - with a to-die-for figure but is a complete chav.He used to get very jealous over me - I'm younger, intelligent and have a professional career - and kept begging me not to leave him. Do you think he cheated/left 'cos he couldn't take that insecurity anymore? Or because he didn't want to hurt me by cheating again? Or because she's so hot?Also, do you think he's likely to cheat on her, given his track record?
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female
reader, bday121  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 What he calls "love" is not love at all. It's just sexual infatuation. "Lust at first sight." I'm sorry, I really don't think you can fall in love with someone in three weeks! This guy's totally crazy and full of crap!
A
female
reader, biz_e +, writes (28 June 2008):
biz_e is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your responses. In hidnsight, I shouldn't have got with him in the first place but I'd never had a proper boyfriend before and I was flattered by his initial attention. He told me he loved me after three weeks and it made me feel special.
I don't think he's addicted to sex - he liked it but not more than normal - but I would say he definitely has problems with insecurity.
I also wonder if he's very emotionally shallow - he falls in love quickly (is apparently in love with her now) and then seems to fall out of love at the drop of a hat
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Why would anyone in their right mind want a relationship with a guy like that? You knew what his track record was like before you got together.
I would run a mile from a guy like him, and find someone who is capable of fidelity.
Be very choosy and do not sell yourself short by dating jerks like him Hun. You are so much worth more than that, the likleyhood of him cheating on his latest girlfriend is very high. People like him would cheat on his woman,even if she was a Supermodel. He has an addiction to sex,also please check yourself out to see if he has given you a STD. Better to be safe than sorry.
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A
female
reader, Ember13 +, writes (28 June 2008):
I have no idea why he cheated on you and left you. I don't know him well enough to make a judgement call on that.
But considering his track record, I'd say yes he's probably going to cheat on her. I'm one that completely believes in second chances but you were his 3rd chance and he still cheated on you, I doubt he's going to change. I mean, 13 years of his 2 exes and add up how long you guys you were together, that's 13+ years of the same behaviour. That's going to be hard to break.
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A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (28 June 2008):
He'll definitely cheat on her. This man has some serious issues, and I really think you're better off without him. He's a chronic cheater and I wouldn't doubt if he was slightly addicted to sex. There's some problem he has with himself - probably tons of insecurity - that causes him to fail at work and in relationships. Maybe he's afraid of success? Maybe he feels the need to hurt/use women since he's so threatened by them? Who knows? Whatever it is, he has some issues that he needs to work out.
Trust me, he and this girl might look happy *now*, but in a few months she'll be a raving lunatic after putting up with his bum/insecure ways and his chronic cheating. He WILL cheat on her, there's not a doubt in my mind. And, no, he didn't leave you because she's "hot", he left you because he has some deep personal issues. He could be married to the hottest woman on earth but he'd still cheat on her.
This man won't change until he seeks some professional help for his problems.
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