A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help! I am finding myself contemplating unfaithfulness and it is freaking me out. I have always tried to be an honest decent person and this is terrible.I have been in a commited gay relationship for almost four years. My bf is a wonderful man but sexually things have gone quite bad. We have sex once a week by which time I am almost going crazy with frustration. The sex is great but then its over for another week.If I make a move he ignores it, has something to do, finds an excuse etc etc. I've broached the subject but it just doesn't seem to make any difference. It seems that he really feels like it once a week but once that's done he is just totally over it. NO it wasn't always like this!I've been romantic, I've been spontaneous, I've been thoughtful, I've given him space, I've taken on more of the chores, I've been and done everything a good partner should.I love him absolutely but this is getting really tough. I find myself going online looking for sex and then freak out that I'm actually doing that. I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bday121  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 It sounds like you're really trying to make this work, and I applaud you for that. I'm sure you're an amazaing boyfriend.
Now it's up to your partner. It's up to him to change. Try some more communication. Have you told him exactly what you've told us here? Have you expressed to him how important a healthy sex life is for you? Have you tried asking him if there's anything wrong? Really try to get some good communication going. There's an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. I mean, men usually have such high sex drives, there must be a *reason* why your bf's is so low. And even if he has a low sex drive...well, I have a pretty low sex drive too, but I have sex with my boyfriend even when I'm not in the mood just to please him because I love him. And I generally end up enjoying it as much as he does. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that there's some issue that the two of you need to discuss. If for some reason the two of you just can't get it right, even after talking, I reccommend some couple's counseling.
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