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Do you think chatting with people online is considered cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *olucky24xo writes:

Do you think chatting with people you don't know online (like on adult friend finder" is considered cheating or almost cheating?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009):

look at it this way... if he were online chatting to other girls innapropiatly telling them all the things that you thought were ment just for you how would you feel? Just a thought.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2009):

Depends what you are chatting about.

If you are talking about the wildlife in your garden then no it is not cheating.

If they are flirting and there is a sexual theme to the conversations (I think the fact he is on adult friend is a big clue on that) then yes I would consider it cheating and be very hurt.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Guitarist  United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2009):

Guitarist  agony auntMy ex does that and she chatted dirty to others online while i was with her as well. I class it as cheating for sure. why should you need to chat like that to other people when you have your partner?

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A female reader, SweetSerendipity United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2009):

It depends on a number of things, such as

(a) knowing that people who go on sites to find "dates" or start a relationship, what is your intention on joining this site? If you are looking for a friend to chat, surely there are other options that you can choose, like "obama on economy", or "bush on retirement", or "harry potter", or "avatar". So naturally, the first thing that comes to mind when you join an "adult friend finder" is to find someone who wants a "relationship".

(b) what information do you give out in terms of status, when you go online. Do you tell them you are single (thus "available"), or in a relationship but not happy (thus "looking"). Again, in an adult finder, this would be considered you are "shopping around"

(c) do you keep this "hidden" from your partner? If your intentions are good and positive, surely you would not need to hide it from anyone?

(d) do you "flirt"? even if it is an "arts and crafts" chat line, for instance, but you found someone you feel that you are attracted to. If you flirt and hide it from your partner, then it would be considered "cheating". If you did anything that you keep secret, particularly of sexual nature, than yes, this would be cheating too.

I have one chat friend I found by accident. I ventured into the wrong room (I meant to get into the city room, instead I went to the State room). It's been over 1 year now, I am still chatting with him. He is married (I am not), but his wife and children know that I am chatting with him, and we talk about everything and anything, from the mundane to the serious stuff. And we have a good laugh. He tells his wife and children that I am his "online girlfriend". His wife just rolls her eyes, and his children think their dad is "weird" LOL. I also don't think that we'd ever meet in real life. But if we did, it would be meeting the whole family.

I hope this helps you in a way. Basically, if you are in a good and strong relationship, trust and respect should never ever be compromised. I hope your relationship has those fundamentals. Respect your partner as much as you love him/her, and you'll be fine.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009):

Lucky24, do you think chatting with people you don't know online is considered cheating? If you think it is, then it is. If you don't think it is, then it isn't.

The act of cheating is too interpretative for each individual. "Cheating" is dependent on your personal definition and what it incorporates.

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