A
female
age
26-29,
*m-the-one-to-ask
writes:i've been through a lot this summer and its hard to be happy with all the dramma. pertty much i was dumped by my bf and almost everyong(literally) on facebook hate me. i dont kno y, but lots of ppl tend to call me a transexual? these guys from my school(who r my age/grade and r twins) pick on me all the time. one of the reasons they call me a transexual is bc of my name. i kno i shouldnt tell u my name, but i have to in order to tell wuts going on. so my name is Randi. and they always spell it RandY and make sure i notice they spell it with a Y.(this is bc they also think i used to be a boy??) and i dont get too mad about it, but i start cussing(which is bad and i need to overcome that) and they keep telling me to stop having a "man period" just bc they spell it with a Y and they call me a transexual. this has gotten me really emotional about a lot of things and i cant stop crying all the time when noones around. i tell my friend wut they say to me and she said that a lot of times that when a guy pciks on u or calls u names, they usually like u? so i was just wondering, do u think they like me?(i dont really think so) or r they just being jerks? and how do i learn to not take it so affencively????
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female
reader, im-the-one-to-ask +, writes (4 July 2009):
im-the-one-to-ask is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx! :D
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Randi,
For some reason I'm not familiar with Charlotte Russe, So I checked out their website. They have quite a variety of offerings. I get what you are saying, you don't dress like a tomboy. One of my daughters refuses to wear anything with a bow or lace on it, so I may have jumped to a conclusion. I don't think that the heavy eyebrows are a problem. Way back when I was your age (or so) Brooke Shields starred in The Blue Lagoon, and she had some pretty massive eyebrows (look it up). Anyway, all the boys were crazy about her. You say you have long legs, are you tall and thin? I don't want to get too personal or embarrass you. Guys can be very funny about their tastes, what one boy finds to be "boyish" another will find attractive. Also you will find as you get older that looks and body shape are less important than personality. Concentrate on the way you talk, the way you walk and move, the things you do, or don't do. Whatever you do you will need to be comfortable with your self. Nothing is more attractive in a woman than confidence.
To get to the point after all that rambling. I think they have accepted you as "one of the boys". And you are not comfortable with that role. You need to send them a message. First off don't get mad when the transsexual comments start, just play it back to them. Laugh it off. Say, "Is that why you like me? I thought you preferred girls." A bully's power is in his ability to make you feel bad. If you stand up to him he won't know what to do.
I did like the advice about facebook. If they can't play nice then don't play that game. It is so tempting to lash back, but if you know these people in real life it would be better to talk to them in person. Kind of a "what you said on face book really hurt me. Do you really feel that way?" It is much harder to attack a person in person, where you can read their body language and they can react immediately to the assault.
I hope that answers the question.
FA
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A
female
reader, im-the-one-to-ask +, writes (3 July 2009):
im-the-one-to-ask is verified as being by the original poster of the question Fatherly Advice, where u say "acting and dressing like a lady is a must"..i do, i mean like i shop at charlotte russe(about as girly as it gets) and where make-up(which i find i can apply it without it looking gross or looking like its too much) but i have really thick eyebrows(no uni-brow tho :}) lol. my mom says its an Italian trait. but im getting confused bc some people say i can be a model(bc i have "really long" legs. so they say) but others think i used to be a dude? i just dont get it. well besides that, they boys havent said anything to me lately so..yeah :]!
-thanx so much for everything! but plz, i would really like to kno wut the problem is now about wut i said up there ^^^^
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 July 2009):
 You need to learn to QUIT the whole FACEBOOK stuff. Ignore it and stay in the REAL world. People (young and old) tend to lash out at others in cyberspace not caring one iota for the other person's feeling.
Someone calls you a transsexual? Odd. Are they ignorant or something? A transsexual is someone who have been a LONG and SERIOUS hormonal treatment with pretty SERIOUS surgery to change the sex they were born with to one they feel is the right one. For someone to call a girl of 13-15 a transsexual seems really immature and very ignorant ( let me be honest - STUPID) and thus the advice to quite Facebook.
If people around you give you grief ( and you don't feel you deserve it) ignore them till you can get them alone then ASK them WHY they feel they can talk to you in that way.
You are at a cross road right now. You should quit with the cussing, because in my book people who cuss a lot have a limited vocabulary, and that is a bad thing. :) However stopping with the cuss words might not happen overnight and honey, that is fine.
You need to find friends who treat you with respect and you can respect in return.
Find a hobby or a sport - met people with the same interests who can help you grow as you can help them.
There will always be jerks out there, if you ignore them they loose "power" - same as bullies.
Chin up Randi :)
By they way your name is of Scandanavian origin, a shortened form of an old name from the elements 'regin', and 'frid', meaning 'counsel' and 'beautiful' respectively. It's a GOOD solid strong name. Be proud.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 July 2009):
Hi, Randi,
The answer to your question depends a lot on the age of the boys. If they are closer to 13, Then it is possible that they do like you and are wondering why you aren't a good sport about their joking. In that case they accept you as "one of the Guys", and not a serious romantic prospect. If they are nearly 16 and in other ways mature then they do not like you and only tolerate you, if they can get something from the relationship. I know that neither one of these answers is comforting to you. Their behavior is hurtful to you. If you have let them know in clear words that it is hurtful, and if they continue with the name calling then it is Abuse. It hurts me to think of you sitting home alone crying over the rude words of these so called friends. It is very hard for a teen to be told who to hang out with, but from a more mature (old enough to be your dad) point of view, I wouldn't hang out with people who make me feel that way. You want to be treated like a lady then acting and dressing like one is a must. It is good that you are trying to stop cussing. a little light make up and a bit of lace and bows in your clothing will help portray that image. It may also help to play hard to get. Let them know you are looking for someone better, perhaps they can be better.
****Soapbox time feel free to ignore this part****
One of the terrible troubles we are having in our society is lack of respect. We feel that we can get on line and semi anonymously trash anyone we feel like, as if this is some video game and not real people. Men need to respect
women for their qualities that men will never have. They should feel some what protective to any woman or child. Women need to Honor Men for the Qualities that the have that Women will never have. They both should treasure their own role. Men Should be better more manly men, They should be good providers and protectors. Women should be loving and nurturing and womanly. Thanks for listening to my Ranting. If you disagree you are welcome to your opinion this is an open forum.
Good luck Randi, I do hope you are feeling better soon.
FA
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Since you are still young and at that "age" I think they may like you. Guys (and girls) tend to pick on each other when they like you, please do not cry about it. I have been down that road before and once I realized why they treated me so badly in middle and highschool it actually made my confidence even higher than it already is.
Let me tell you why they like you, see people, in general find something about a person that they think is funny and tease them about it because they admire that person.
I am 22 yo and I do it to a crush that I like (and, as revenge, they do it to me, lol) its only because I want their undivided attention. At your age you will get upset but once you get older you will start to notice what I am talking about.
Long, but I hope this help! And please dont cry :)
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