A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:I hate the way i feel. Basically i have been in a relationship on/off 4 3yr years. I was madly in love with this man so much. But all i ever wanted was more time and attention from him! Im confused bout how he felt 4 me. We were so intense. So attracted to each other i never felt like this b4! He told me he loved me so much and never this way b4. But he never seem to want me around! He was unrieable. Let me down. Actually was quite a joker. And said jokes bout the way i looked which i was insecure bout. It hurt. He would make out that when im not around hes getting chatted up all the time! Making me cling to him even more! Is this what he wanted? Times that we were together were good. But when we were apart i didnt trust him! In times we were broken up this is with him saying i love u so much but i cant give u what i want! He slept with other girl which i found out after i took him back begging me that i was everything! That hurts! He wasnt heartbroken was he! Things is weve been spilt 6 months and hes trying again. But i no he been with more girls. I sit and think what hes doing.+whos he with etc. What hes saying. Hating that another girl has him maybe. While i just craved attention. I wanted so much. Im still getting over it. Its like im that low in confindence bout myself i think i cant get a bloke better than him. And who i fancied so much. How can i be strong move on? I ve wastf 3 yrs already! But he so convincing and brings my feelings back. Its like he dont wamt me to move on cos if i do whats he gonna do if i was the best thing like he said! But then he dont want me properly anyway! Im confused. And hes certainly messed up! He will text me out the blue with something like im at a wedding and wish u was here! And yet i made a point bout going b4 we spilt up him saying i dont no anyone i wouldnt want to go. Plus i have to watch what u say! Then he does that. Why? Does he think i will think there hope and he will change? He does give me false hope with broken promises!
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 I doubt he will change. He has already been pulling this off with you for three years.
I think you are right that your confidence is shot. He has dragged it down with his lies, his cheating, and his hurtful comments. It would probably be a good idea to spend more time alone working on yourself. Block his number. Remind yourself everyday that you are a good person who deserves to be treated well. And it's true, you deserve to be treated with love and respect.
It's going to take time to recover from this messy situation, but it can be done.
Good luck.
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