A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How I feel:Honestly its no one fault, its just mine, people tell me what I should do rather when I should be telling myself what I should be doing. I sometimes even go as far as not thinking the situation through, or even go as far as over thinking a certain situation. I just guess that the fact is I am lonely, unmotivated and just really wanting a vication from this life. I just work all day long with little to no rewards. I workout yet I feel like I am doing it for no one, I go boating and I feel at my place and when I bike I am happy. Other then that I feel alone worthless or an idiot. I just wish that I could have had a better outcome rather then being here in minto by myself with no one to talk to. I have friends, who I hang around with, they are fun and great, yet that can only go so far. I am internally broken, I have this empty feeling inside where my heart use to be, where my drive for life and goofiness came through and my gut instink was able to go through without being tainted with the thought of why are you being mean or what will happen. I guess the hardest thing I have ever been told by a person was that (my ex girlfriend) blew me off to go be with her best friend rather then me. I am not sure if it bothers me or not, since my emotion remain unclear, undefined of how I feel. So much has gone on in my life which I just needed time to digest, but really have not had the time to do so. My aunt passing away was hard, my ex girlfriend leaving me twice within a 6 month period was hard. I wanted to be with her, yet I just wanted a simple relationship just enjoying to be with each other. Yet I know deep inside that its the best for the both of us in the end to be apart, since we both want different things in our lives. The only thing I ever wanted for her was for her to be happy, to reach her goals and that is it. I guess wanting a person to be happy is hard, to realize that really loving a person is not enough when you are unable to get what you trully want from life. The one thing I wish for me and her is that one day, hopefully soon that I could just be myself around her without feeling like I am judged, put down or being a complete morron in the act of saying certain things. But I know that does not fully rest upon me for it to occur, it rests on the both of us to understand each others limits and to have a mutual understanding of who each other is. Now that I think about how I feel, I guess that I feel like life is not really worth living to the fulliest, I just don't have the drive or insperation that I once had. I don't know where it has gone, it was the bases of who I was, what I believed and what I wanted to be for the rest of my life. I am lost, an empty shell of who I once was. I feel like other's are leading my life, controlling what and how I should feel, yet I have not a clue of where I want to lead this life, I have not met a new girl who I fancy, who I find interesting. I miss what I had with my ex girlfriend, yet I know that was who we were, not who we are. Its hard to keep it in my mind set, to understand, to even accept something I feel like it shouldn't be. I was happy with her despite our flaws in our relationship, I could come home to her. I just don't understand anymore, if you have any insight or thoughts of how to improve my life ... it would be nice. I workout twice a week and an avid runner/swimmer, I got 7 close friends which i hang around on a regular basis. I got everything that I know should make me happy, yet inside I am not ... thanks for reading ...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Chin up, my friend- you are not alone in feeling this way . It's pretty universal, in fact a famous romantic poet, Ugo Foscolo, wrote this in the early 19th century :
"non son chi fui : peri' di noi gran parte :
questa che avanza e' sol languore e pianto."
"I am not who I was : great part of me is dead,
and all that is left - it's just emptiness and tears ".
It sounds like you could have written that, uh ?
While I was reading your post, I was thinking ,maybe this guy is depressed, or he has a bad case of existential angst- by the end of the post, I think it shows you are just lovelorn. You haven't quite digested and processed yet and left behind the break up with your girlfriend, which I suspect, was not that far back in time.
My first advice is a total platitude - but it being a cliche' does not make it less true :GIVE IT TIME. Time heals all wounds, particularly if you help the healing process by NOT picking at the scabs.
My second advice won't make any sense to you, I guess it will take a couple of decades before it sinks in.
It is : your motivation in life is YOU- it comes from yourself, and not from people around you. Very often what we call love is a thirst for strong feelings and strong emotions , and we use the other person as a catalyst to let this strong feelings and strong emotions - this PASSION- emerge in our life. The person goes away, and
everything feels dull and bland. Sort of OK, but not enough.
Find passion within you-other people will come and go in your life, and you will still be sad to see them go, of course, but you won't be broken, because you won't NEED them to give meaning to your life.
Find your own passion, your own meaning. It can be anything :sports, or art, or your career, your faith, what you write, what you build with your hands, what you do for your friends and community . It can even be - just YOURSELF : committing to give yourself the best possible life and the most possible happiness just with what is at your disposal in any given moment,as little as it could be.
It's not an easy task- but it's worth the effort.
Again, I know it does not make a lot of sense to you right now- please check back with me in 20 or 30 years : )
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 You don't feel you are happy for you don't know what you want in your life. Try to ask yourself, what makes you happy? You need to communicate with your feelings but do not resist. What I mean of resistance is from the reality to your inner feelings...You cannot change what is from the outside world but you can change from within.
You make your own happiness, find it and go for it!
Don't look back of what was from the past, if you do, it will create turmoil in your inner feelings and it will affect almost everthing about you. Dear, I think you are resisting to life's flow. Your past was your comfort zone wherein you feel you are happy but please do remember, that was the past and you need to move on with your life but you cannot move on if you dwell from your past...LET GO AND STOP RESISTING. Know what makes you happy and think positively...the healing is not from us but it is within you to improve your life. BE POSITIVE AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO FACE YOUR FEARS.
I hope this helps
sweetiebabes
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A
female
reader, glassblower +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Have you ever seen the movie Yes Man? It sounds like what you need is to get out, try new things, meet new people who share your interests, and find something you like to do. Try something you've always wanted to do, or what you've never heard of before. Smile and look people in the eye. Paint. Play the guitar. Learn to fly a plane. Speak Japanese. Collect leaves and make a scrapbook. Make jewelry (that's what I did). I hope life feels better for you soon honey. Best of luck. xoxo glassblower
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