A
female
age
30-35,
*eisha4knight
writes:So my question is about love. After you have been with someone for a long time (years) and things don't work out between you two and you both move on what can you do to get yourself to stop loving, thinking about, and caring for the person that you spent that much time with? Or will you never get over those feelings? If so what can one do to cope with those feelings.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): Almost everyone experiences the hurt of splitting up with some one that they were in a relationship with, at some stage in their lives. You May be hurting now. That is only natural. But in time You will be get over it. When thing's are not working out in a relationship it is always best that those two people go their separate ways. It may hurt. But because it hurts so much to split up with some one that is not a good reason to stay together. In time the hurt will pass and You will be smiling again. Give Your self a chance. Take positive steps. Occupy Your mind. Hang out with Your friend's. Stay close to Your family. I guarantee You that the hurt will pass. You will find Yourself again. Regain Your Self Esteem and confidence. You will look toward the future with newfound positivity.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): If you really deeply loved/cared for someone, the feelings never really go away: they just become less painful and you learn to deal with them. After all, "true love" is too deep an emotion not to leave SOME trace behind when it leaves.
In time (how much time depends on ther person), it becomes a memory rather than an emotion, if that makes any sense.
For example, right now I miss my (ex) g/f immensely, but it's only been a month. I sometimes look back on the happy times with my ex wife (we split up nearly 5 years ago) with a twinge of sadness/regret, but it's not a consuming emotion. And I still some ... inner connection .. to my first serious g/f from many many years ago. The more time that passes, the more the feelings fade, leaving just their imprint.
The best thing you can do at the moment is to keep yourself active and busy, so you have less opportunity to dwell on your feelings of sadness/loss.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): I dated a girl for 5.5 years and I got over it by simply going back and logically analyzing why we broke up. Simply, different relationship goals and as two epople get older they can drift apart. Thats it done and done. No need to put any emotion into it and it helped greatly to remove any "feelings" and just look at reasoning.
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (31 October 2010):
 I was with my first longterm boyfriend two years ago.I hate him for what he did to me and my son and i still dont like the way he acts now we are not together.I have been in a new relationship for almost two years but i still have feelings for my ex i mean i hate him but wouldnt want to see anything bad happen to him and still care and for some reason cant help but try and help him out but to be fair its not really my job anymore its rare when i think about him now and i believe at some point i hope all feelings go for him but i think with things like this it takes time
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A
male
reader, confusedcaucasian  +, writes (31 October 2010):
 I was with my wife from high school, we were together 15 years, married 11 of those and two beautiful daughters... We have separated, It has been just over 2 years now since we sperated, I have been with my current girlfriend a year, I love my girlfriend now and wouldn't go back to the ex if I could. what we have is better than I knew a relationship could be. The separation was tough and in the end I got hurt. It took me a long time to get over that. But I thought I was good, had been months since It had bothered me at all, even though we exchange the kids often. Couple days ago my computer crashed and I was forced to bring in the old/spare computer and hook it in. I started going through pictures and there were old pictures of me and the girls with there mom at different places and b-day parties. so sad, before I knew it I was crying. So sad. Will I ever really be over her, hard to say. I hope so.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 October 2010):
 You will get over those feelings, even if right now it sounds unbelievable to you. Life goes on, people change, feelings change, persons and things get out of your life, new persons and new things come into your life.
You say " a long time " but since you are at most 21... how long could that be ?
There are people ( I knew personally quite a few ) who broke up marriages after 15, 20, 25 years .. ( THAT's a long time ! ) and after a period of mourning their loss,- moved on to another , happier relationship.
It may take time, of course- there's no instant healing. But often when people gets stuck in their past - it's because they want to. They cling teeth and nails to old hurts, old wounds, old memories.
How do you get over the end of a love story ? That would require a very long post...plus it's an individual healing process, yet I have a few suggestions, if you want you can PM me.
Right now,anyway,the short of it is : yes, you will get over those feelings.
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