A
female
age
36-40,
*abiheader
writes:how can I tell if I have over came the abuse of my past relatinship? Do you consider it sexual abuse If I said no but he did it anyways, even though he was supposed to be my partner. Why do I relate anything a guy says to me to whatever he said . Will the thoughts and flash backs ever stop? Is anyone out there who went through what I went through and how did you get over it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miss life fixer +, writes (16 October 2007):
whether he is/was your boyfriend if he didnt have your consent then it is sexual abuse and you MUST report him to the police. dont worry about being scared its not your fault, he shouldnt of done what he did and he should be punished for it, before he does it to someone else. the flash back will go away eventually. ive been through a similar thing to yoursel and i couldnt sleep or eat for months and that is because i was keeping it all bottled up and as soon as i told someone he was punished and my mind was at ease to know that he had consequenses for his actions and i had saved probably another girl from going through them same. if you dont tell anyone it will just keep eatin you up inside and thats not healthy for your body and your mind. dont be scared and stand up for your self
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Why would a guy consider your "no" a "yes?" What do you do when they proceed anyway? Maybe you don't hit hard enough.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 hey hunny. ok your first question even through you said no but he did it anyway do you mean he forced you to have sex with him than yes it is wrong. As for the flashbacks, you have never gotten over it, for me talking to someone who didn't know me really helped to let it all out if you hav a strong family behind you always helps. i sometimes get flash backs in my sleep but thats only now again, but as long as you deal with it talk to someone about instead of keeping it all in.
As for the part well everything a guy says to or does to you reminds you of your ex, this you will have to tell a guy that you are trying to get with at some point. everything a new guy does just reminds you of your ex i used to get that, and it toke me ages to ust block it out.
I would suggest to go counselling to get it all out, and steadly start to trust men again, one good way to help you is to tell yourself that not all men are the same, yes after you have been through something like that it always seems that they say the same thing want the same thing as your ex but its all in your head and you will need to talk to someone soon before it is too late and soon enough you won't trust anyone.
good luck hunny and if you want to talk you can email me xxxx good lick and be strong don't let him win.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): I've been there twice. I went through counseling and now I am doing better at age 24. But, I still seem to attract the abusive types, so I'm staying single for a while (just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship last week, and even though he didn't sexually abuse or assault me, he did other things that made me realize I deserve soooo much better!) And so do you! Get help, talk about it, and eventually you will be able to forgive. If you don't forgive you will never move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Mandy7 is so right. I have been there too and have come out of it. Be strong and try and keep away from this type of bloke. I did. I'm sending you big hugs. I had a word with my doctor, saw a counsellor and pulled myself out of it. Train your mind and the rest will follow.
take care
xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Hunny,
Where do I start, This is a question I have many times asked myself sweetheart, And Im going to tell you its tough and you have to be tough to get all that part of your life out of the way and be the person you were and are back on track.. A huge learning expierence hunny and believe me if I can do it you can ive been beaten raped other men were asked in his terms when we were out if they would like to shag me for all to hear and feel from the man who vowed to love me, He tryed to kill me in the end as he had seen a goodlooking girl in town that made me his problem apparently... And sweetheart it goes on...
But Ive done it and come out the other end so you have to remember you are the strong one here he is the weak so how could he possibly keep you down your strengh is far greater than you can imagine, If you need help with this darling im only to happy to do as much as I can to get you strong message me TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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