A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This girl at work, she's a sweetheart, always looks so positive and full of energy. I've been feeling like she avoids me a lot, so one day I talked to her about it and though she was really friendly, she said that i was a bit intimidating, my voice being one of the reasons for that.To me, my voice is normal, so I can't tell what it sounds like. I asked another girl how deep my voice was, and she said I have a really deep voice. On a scale of 1-10, an 8.5.Do girls/women like men with deep voices? Are you intimidated by it as well?
View related questions:
at work, girl at work Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (18 November 2016):
I am so sure girls like a man with deeper voices. But if the girl doesn't like your deep voice at all. It is her loss. I will ffind someone else who likes you and your nice deep voice. What does your voice sound like? Being a female myself I like guys with deeper voices. I bet my bf has one also. Try talking to another girl who works with you not the one who doesn't like your voice at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2016): I've reconsidered the response to your question, then reading your comments to Honeypie; I realized you're a bit taken with this young woman. Your concerns go beyond your professional involvement; but maybe you're attracted to her.
She may be shying away from you because she is staying a professional-distance away, and wants you to know she feels no obligation to you beyond her gratitude for your helping her at work. She may be sweet as you say, but she may not be sweet on you.
Perhaps she may feel less intimidated if you weren't coming across too friendly or less than professional. You simply may not be her type, and/or she may not be interested in dating a co-worker. She may feel your friendliness is leading up to asking her out, and it makes her uncomfortable.
Your description clearly indicates you are attracted to her; and I think she is trying to let you know in her sweet and polite way, she's not interested. I think the subtle question in your post is "why doesn't she like me?"
She probably likes you in the same way as any other co-worker. No more, no less.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 November 2016):
Aw come on- how deep can your voice be, to keep women at bay. I doubt that you really sound scary,like an ogre from a fairy tale . Even those cavernous, almost outerwordly voices that " deep bass " roles require in some operas, say, Verdi or Wagner,- that's their SINGING voice, result of long training and special ways to produce a certain sound -their SPEAKING voice is obviously not shrill, but much more " normal ". Chances are that you are simply a bass-baritone . Like... Jim Morrison . Or David Bowie. Just to name two guys whose voices surely appealed to chicks .
I can offer two guesses :
1) it's not your voice per se she finds off putting, but the way you use it. Maybe too forcefully ? If you speak too loud, a booming voice, even a nice one, can be annoying, for instance. And , when you say that other people at work makes you angry... maybe this girl has heard you using your voice to yell at them or rage or cuss at them- and THAT she found intimidating, but it's more about the attitude, not the voice. Yes I know you are very nice to her, but .... are you also very nice to everybody around you too ?
2 ) ... she did not know what to say, and , put on the spot, she said the first thing that came to mind. Suppose- just suppose- that she has noticed that you have a weak spot for her- and she is not interested and does not want to encourage you - she would be giving you a wide berth, but when cornered with a precise question, well, she should be much more assertive and outspoken than a young girl normally is, to explain you why - so she came up with the voice thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 November 2016):
Some do and some don't. Not all women are the same and like the same things believe it or not. She is intimidated by you, and well that is not a great thing. But you just need to make more off an effort to get to know her and show her that you are a good guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): All physical attributes that makes men different from women are attractive to women.That's the whole point of them being different. Deep voice, beardedness,broad shoulders,more musculature,height... These are all attributes that the vast majority of women find attractive. Her avoiding you most probably could be the feminine way of hinting at you to pursue her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): Deep voices project authority, command attention, and scares the timid. A softer tone and volume-control makes a deep-voice soothing, sexy, and puts everyone at ease. The best orators have deep voices.
It isn't really whether women like deep baritone voices; it's more how you use it. My father had a very deep voice; but he was a soft-spoken man, until you push the wrong buttons. That voice settled me to sleep, it made us feel safe, snapped us to attention; and though he has been dead for ten years, I can still remember it. Please appreciate what nature gifted you with. It is also considered quite virile and seductive in the appropriate situations.
If you have a wife,children, or just a girlfriend; ask them how they feel about your big-daddy voice. That's where it matters. Never-mind about a co-worker. You don't have to give excuses or feel concerned about your genetics. They are what they are.
At work, all anybody needs to be concerned about is your job-performance, productivity, and getting along. If some sappy girl gets intimidated by a voice, that's her silly little problem. A person's stature, height, weight, and physical characteristics are their natural human attributes; and people can't go around judging you by your appearance and the sound of your voice. It's quite stupid, really. She isn't a child, and just might be a little off.
So why should you be so concerned?
Stay in the professional lane, concerning yourself about that is unnecessary.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (16 November 2016):
Your question is like many questions on here, the answer depends on the person. Some ladies will like deep voices, some may not. A deep voice can be intimidating depending on the circumstances, but for the most part I find a man's deep voice to be sexy, like silk, or melted butter...just NICE. I love Sam Elliot's voice for one, I could listen to him talk all day long.
Your voice is what it is, it helps make you ...YOU! I agree with Honeypie, if you happen to be a bigger guy with a very deep voice, perhaps it does intimidate the lady a bit?? Its hard to say..but if you are an open friendly kind of guy, then she should realize that and hopefully be enchanted by your voice...not afraid of it!
My husband isn't a big guy but he has a very deep soothing voice and he used to get so frustrated because when we were dating we would talk on the phone late at night and I'd fall asleep listening to him...lol
Embrace who you are sweetie and good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Honeypie
I never get an attitude with her at all. She's a good person, she's a great worker, and she puts me in a better mood because of her positive attitude. I've helped her since day one when no one else would and I enjoyed helping her. I am 5'8" and she is 5'3" I believe. It could be my physique as well. I'm not the incredible hulk or anything but I have solid broad shoulders, traps, big arms I've been told, big hands, solid back. I work out.
@singinbluebird
I'm very nice to her, always. Even when I'm in a bad mood I never take it out on her because she's so sweet. Others just anger me further at work.
...............................
A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (16 November 2016):
No its not intimidating but it can make girls take notice of the man and feel 'girly.' Much like I think some men prefer feminine voices...but deep doesnt necessarily mean its a pleasant voice. Its how pleasurable to our ear the deep voice is, that it can be very very sexy and attractive to many women---me included. I think despite having a deep voice, if you were warm and nice, she would def realize that youre a approachable person and come around more =) good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2016):
James Earl Jones was not picked at random to voice Darth Vader in the original Starwars. He was picked because his voice stands out, it holds power and it can sound menacing and persuasive all at the same time.
Think Barry White? Not exactly high pitched either.
Alan Rickman had such a unique voice, VERY attractive and on the deeper side. Same with Christopher Lee and Michael Clarke Duncan.
How about Sean Connery? Chris Hemsworth? Vin Diesel?
Liev Schreiber? Sam Elliot?
On average I can't tell you if girls/women like deep voices, some do.. some don't. But I do think they prefer a man with a deeper voice to one that is high as squeaky.
It is the voice you have. Make the best of it.
Am I intimidated by a deep voice? - definitely not. I find them extremely yummy. Any of the actors mention above could read from the phone book and I'd listen.
I think she is more intimidated with your physique or attitude than your voice. Are you by chance also much taller than her?
...............................
|