A
male
age
36-40,
*ostafriend4329
writes:Hello!Recently i've seemingly lost a bestfriend to his new girlfriend.He has never had a real relationship before (he is now 21) and recently found a 17yr highschool girl that he fancies attractive and fun.A year ago, she was fun and all of his best friends thought it was a good thing he finally found a relationship (minus the age gap, that never quite settled with us). But as of late, she has enveloped his entire life, he no longer wants to hang out with us, be with us, or work on the house he purchased with us. She never stops complaining.. and anytime he does hang out with us.. (2-3 times a month) he is on the phone with her consistantly because she starts fighting with him (because hes with us not with her) She calls him a liar, doesnt trust him, and hates his friends. He is so blinded by what he thinks to be love that he has now disowned us because we cant stand his girlfriend. He won't talk to any of us about her or their relationship.So what do we do... leave our best friend and roommate in the dust and say life goes on? Or do i keep fighting and pulling on something that may never work and potentially put us farther apart?hmmm?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 You can only help those who want to be helped. If you do anything to intervene, if/when the relationship falls apart, he will blame you guys for it.
Let him be in his relationship with her. One of two things will happen. Either they will feed each other's dysfunctions and they have a dysfunction but sustaining relationship or one of them will lose interest in the relationship (I'm thinking it's most likely going to be the girl in this situation) and your friend will hit emotional rock bottom. That's where you guys can step in and truly demonstrate that you are his real friends. Remind him that girlfriends might come and go, but only true friends stick around.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Let him go. If he has any brains, he'll be back.
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