A
female
age
36-40,
*urseC
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and 1/2 everything seemed to be doing great, until recently. It seems that he is losing interest in me.. and getting to the point to were he cant stand me. He points out to me, what wrong with what i do or say. He tells me that he doesn't care if we break up or not anymore. He is behaving a little weird lately, and i don't know if its something I've done or something i can change. He hardly calls me anymore, and he only does because he said ill get mad, and its totally quite on the phone, we cant have good conversations anymore without arguing. Does this mean he is loosing interest, or doesn't want to be with me anymore? I don;t know if i should end it, or work on it. HELP ME Reply to this Question
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female
reader, elizabeth1986  +, writes (28 June 2008):
Hi hun,I actually went through something very very similar!! In the end it got me so down and depressed trying to fix things and do things to make him happy and wondering what I was doing wrong. He used to come over for about 5 minutes and then make an excuse to leave and was always meeting his friends and just generally off me!!! It really made me miserable! So eventually I was so fed up I suggested we should spilt up and we did! Im so much happier now and in a relationship where Im really appreciated.I dont think it's you at all!!! Although its hard I think you should cut all ties and run! Stop wasting time trying to please him and work out whats wrong, its him. I bet he is trying to make out that your always having a go at him and its your fault, but the truth is that your fed up of his behaviour and if you try and talk to him about it its so infuriating that you get wound up and then its turned around to be your fault! You dont sound happy hun and once you get over the difficult part of spliting up and start going out and start getting attention from other guys and feeling good about yourself again, you'll look back and think what an arse your boyfriend was!!! Break up with him, tell him he's an idiot, go shopping get some new clothes and arrange loads of nights out with your friends and save some money for a holiday and go have fun!! How dare he make you feel like you need to change!!! Tuh! Maybe your situation is different I dont know, but it sounds similar to me!I hope this helps anyways xxxx
A
male
reader, Marco262 +, writes (28 June 2008):
It sounds like he's losing interest in you, NurseC. And that's normal.
Under some schools of thought, there are multiple stages of relationships. The first stage is referred to as the "honeymoon" stage and it lasts for about 17 months on average. This is when the couple are smitten just at the prospect of being together. During this stage, hormones are running high and common sense is usually kind of low.
You and your BF have just left this stage, NurseC. He's starting to see you without his rose-tinted lenses and things are becoming a lot more real. Some things that you've been doing all along that never bothered him before are starting to bother him now. He's starting to wonder what happened to all his free time, will he have time for his friends again, and is he really ready to stop being single?
Now is the time to really sit down and think about your relationship. Sit down and talk with your boyfriend, if he'll let you. Decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. From the sound of it, I think his answer to that question would be, "No." So push him to make a decision, one way or another.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): you need to go out together, and give him the ultimatum! you need to sit down together, somewhere you cant get disturbed and listen to what he has to say. tell him that you are ocncerned about how the relationship is going and where its heading. tell him your fears and your problems. i know this may sound a bit mad, but perhaps he's got something to tell you, (id hate to say this, but possibly cheated or something similar, however, get him to open up to you). ask him to be honest with you, for both of your sakes, and for your relationship. you cant be in a relationship where youre the only one giving 100%. it takes two in a relationship, and if he really doesnt seem like he cares about you anymore then, you deserve better. it sounds like you give a lot into the relationship and you have to be honest to yourself too. he could be realising that youve been together for a long time, and is perhaps scared of the commitment, and if its the case, both discuss it, and be open with each other. everyone has to compromise in relationships, and i think he needs to change his attitude if its going to work. you may need to change too, maybe he wants little changes so be prepared for him to maybe say something along them lines. but overall, i think you need to respect yourself, and not let him put you down, he is meant to be your boyfriend, he is meant to love you, and if he isnt interested or doesnt want to talk/puts you down/cant stand you then you need to end it. you deserve better than someone who isnt willing to give everything to the person he loves.x
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