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male
age
36-40,
*rancedRhythmEar
writes:I want to know if any of you have had a friendship or relationship with any man whose done steroids? What mood changes did they experience? How did you deal with them? Etc thanks for any input. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 September 2012):
 I cannot begin to improve on Maverick94's last post.
read it again and again...
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (18 September 2012):
Why aren't you expecting a reply to your follow-up? It's worthy of being replied to.
You have some deep seated self confidence issues. Using steroids won't change that. If you want to lose fat, they're useless anyway because they mess up your metabolism. Ever heard of the expression "abs are made in the kitchen?"
It's true. If you want to lose fat you need to adjust your diet. Don't drink too many protein shakes either; those can be fattening. Just eat a healthy diet with protein, green veggies, fruits and carbs from organic sources (wholegrain bread instead of white, brown/wild rice instead of white, etc.) Minimize the sugar (also food sugars) and drink lots of water and green tea. Keep it simple. In the end whatever enhancement us humans came up with can't beat nature.
As for the whole idea that a girl will always choose the more chiseled guy; that's not true. She will pick the guy who comes across as being the most comfortable with himself and whom she has most things in common with. If that's you in your avatar, you look pretty damn muscular, so I doubt you need to change that in order to become more desirable.
If you are desperate, you will come across as desperate and that kind of vibe makes people keep their distance, no matter how perfect your body looks. Being too eager to help and buy stuff for a girl makes her feel cheap when you do it wrong. Simply have a chat and ask her out to have a drink. What's the worst that can happen? She says "no." Well, there are tons of other girls you can ask.
I know what it's like not to feel good enough and to always think you need to change something about yourself so you can reach the ideal. The problem is that even if you reach that goal, your mind will have shifted it to something else and so the cycle continues.
You have to start learning to accept yourself for who you are. You are no less than anyone else out there. Once you learn that and become at peace with yourself you will calm down and your life will be much easier. Once I was at peace with myself my whole life became so much less complicated and so much more fun.
Women aren't that different from men, you know. We aren't some alien species that need books written about us to help people understand what makes us tick.
Having sex with hookers won't really help you in the experience department either because they'll say and do anything to get more money out of you. Don't expect valuable feedback on your performance in the sack. And as a bonus you may pick up STD's so please be safe.
If you have the feeling you have no-one to talk to or listen to you, you can always reply here or PM me or any other DC member that has replied here. We're here to help.
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reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (18 September 2012):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks all. My goal is to lose fat not gain muscle but points are well valid. My experience with women has been bad because of my personality. Its lack of more positive feedback and the greater presence of neg feedback from women about my looks that drives me to adapt to what they like. Ivw always been told for the most part that im a funny nice kind guy by women but these women were friends not gfs. Ive failed at attraction bc im learning womens psychology. Anything from knowing when to tease to bust their balls to being kind of nice. To go thru a textbook of shit ive learned about attracting women tho ive been a little successful at it feels absolutely unnatural bc im conscious about what ive learned in mid convo. Ive built a good body naturally. Im a strong guy n has built a little confidence but i know that if it was me standin next to some chizzled man she would pick him.over me. Doesnt matter how nice i am or what i buy her or do for her. Looks are more important than personality. Hes better looking than me and that thought strives me to i guess compete knowing ill look better than most men so women will be more appealed to choose me. Aside from this i have a sexual issue where i think if i dont git the profile of a physically attractive man i dont deserve to ne in the same bedroom as a beautiful woman so i lose wood. That wont stop til i know i fit that profile til i know that woman will not have one fucking bad thung to say about the way i look. Im 27 i need sexual experience so i pay hookers mainly. Ive had a few hookups other than that but until i solve the way i look i wont be at peace. Im not expecting a reply to this. This is deep shit that has gone unsuccessfully thru counseling. Thank u again for ur time n feedback.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 September 2012):
 I only have one friend who is with a body-builder, sorry, he's a former body-builder. He now looks like a bit of a slob, he couldn't sustain it. He's depressed and she's miserable.
The rest of the women I know didn't go for body builders. They tended to find guys with whom they had things in common. They met in college or at work and for the most part, the guys are what you would call normal looking and the women are normal as well. They aren't shallow beauty queens looking for magazine model boyfriends.
What sort of woman do you think likes guys with ginormous muscles, anyway? We used to make fun of the guys who had 'show' muscles, like the guys who couldn't comb their hair due to their over-developed shoulders. It looks bizarre, really.
Do you have a specific girl in mind, one you are trying to impress, or are you imagining what some girl might like in a guy and hope to meet that fictional ideal? Are you looking for a longterm, stable relationship leading to marriage or are you just looking to be a Hugh Hefner type of guy, who just keeps cycling through women?
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 September 2012):
My brother was a competitive body builder in his youth. He used steroids. I'd be happy to ask him why he stopped.... they destroyed his skin, his bones, his teeth... his body... and he had terrible mood swings and unpredictability. It was NOT pretty or attractive.
Then let's discuss that he had a mere 2% body fat when competing and now he's massively grossly flabby and overweight....
Thirdly I can tell you quite honestly that your body is not what attracts quality women.... your mind and personality and soul are what attracts quality women and keeps them.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (16 September 2012):
Being a woman who works out and takes care of her body, I've seen a fair amount of 'roid users in the gyms I've been at and the reason I know they were using is because they are easy to spot. Their muscle development is unusual and as unbalanced as their personalities. I'm not talking about the typical 'roid rage, but there's definitely a change you can spot, a sign something is off.
'Roid users don't create strong bodies, they create bloated muscles that aren't designed for any specific purpose. And about looking good: genuine, athletic strength looks good. A functional body. Not the illusion of strength through unhealthy enhancers and questionable training methods.
For example: to this day I've never met a 'roid user who has a spine strong enough, flexible enough and healthy enough that they can bend over backwards, touch the floor and get back up again purely using back strength. Or have the hip and knee power to squat down to the ground and stand up straight again--on one leg.
No man needs steroids to appeal to women. In fact, the idea alone chases away a lot of them. What most women look for in a man is someone they can depend on, not just physically, but emotionally as well. 'Roid users are not stable in either category. Putting your health at risk to appeal to some impossible body standard is absurd and unappealing. There's a reason girls with anorexia are often overlooked/ignored by guys: that amount of obsession with the body is unhealthy and unattractive.
Basically, a guy needs to be comfortable in his own skin, comfortable in life and basically be a fun and enjoyable person to spend time with. That's what makes someone attractive. If they have an athletic body that's a bonus, not the main course.
Never go set out to appeal to some vague standard you think a group of people have. Set out to what you find important, like good health, education, good bond with the people you love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): No offence Trance but you're here long enough to know that women just want a healthy, clean, good guy who makes them happy and is interesting. For the most part your body is irrelevant, although a great body is useful as it's nice to look at, juiced up is not what most women consider a great body. The thing is most women I know, have talked to and been with don't like juiced up bodies. They don't find a huge hulking mass of watery muscle nice.
I honestly believe that changing yourself in any way to make yourself something you think women will want is a big mistake. There's no mystery to women they're the exact same as us and have all the same prerequisites and find every type of guy attractive, the same as we all find all the different types of girl attractive.
Now you're talking about making a trade between mentally balanced and being big and buff. Not a good trade off at all. Plus 'roids just build useless muscle that you will have to spend a huge amount of time to maintain after you build because if you don't the muscle will soften and you will just look fat. You know how it works, 6 weeks of no work outs when you're huge and the muscles will soften and you'll put on a loads of weight too.
There are also a lot of health risks to 'roids as I'm sure you're aware, they're not a good trade off either. being big is not worth the health risk.
Why not just use creatine and a high protein diet and build muscle a bit more naturally? I understand the lust for size, being bigger does feel great but 'roid junkies who only care about size are largely useless.
There are so many more important things that you should look to improve about yourself and taking steroids to become massive is not one of those. Trance they really fuck with your head and if you have any kind of issues mentally to do with confidence or self worth then 'roids will not help they may make you feel confident in terms of being bigger on the short term but mentally they take their toll.
As I said before doing things to improve yourself based on what you think women want is a mistake because it can lead you doing extreme things like taking steroids, or over training, and if you don't get the extra attention you seek then you'll feel even worse and on 'roids your mind might not be able to handle that all that well. You risk becoming a volatile aggressive madman and that's not a good basis for a healthy relationship at all.
If you want to improve yourself, improve all of you, improve your mind as well as your body, don't trade one for the other or you'll leave yourself at a massive disadvantage. I've always been very successful getting women even when I was a fat blob because I have a good mind, am intelligent and am mentally stable. It's just as important to work out your brain as it is your body, if you really think building a huge body but dulling down your brain and fucking up your emotional well being is going to make it easier for you get women then you're very much mistaken.
Trance it doesn't matter what kind of body you have, if you have an aggressive, mentally unstable mind then any intelligent, nice girl is going to run a mile or you may end up treating them like crap.
Improve your body, your mind, your spirit and make yourself a happy, content man and you will easily get women, make yourself the complete package not just a hulking mass of meat.
I've eaten juicers for breakfast in MMA bouts and street fights because it's very easy to out-think them, I'm stronger and faster than most of them too because they were so focused on size while I trained for muscle endurance, explosive power and muscle density, and I'm training to do an iron man 70.3 next summer too because I want my body to be useful and achieve things with it other than being huge.
Trance a fit, athletic body is far more appealing to the vast majority of women I've known than just huge size and a fit, healthy body helps create a fit, healthy mind.
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reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (15 September 2012):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe bug thing u describe is blood flowin to muscles. Its an amazing feeling. I joke at my gym too but rarely as it takes me out of focus and into unwanted convo. I want to look good and i dont say tht lightly. I know what what women want and ill do whatever is necesaary to get it even if that means going the extreme. Its the end result that matterz.
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male
reader, HotGeek  +, writes (14 September 2012):
Yes, they will cause you serious problems with controlling yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): An old friend of mine's husband was taking steroids. I didn't know much about them then, but the effects on his personality were drastic...we all thought he was doing cocaine at first he was so out of wack and hyper like, but it started to include real anger and aggression and moody outbursts that were something else, then the violence started..he got so bent out of shape because we didn't tell him we were going on vacation, he came over and through a brick through our skylight. Then he started getting abusive to my friend (his wife) and their daughter. Of course as his body started to change it all started to make sense. She divorced him about a year later. The first couple years I knew them, we were all very close and he was a very kind, generally happy and gentle man.What I see now are some young guys at the gym I work out at regularly. They are serious weight lifters, okay fine..except when you watch them...they do a set and get up and stand there like there are bugs crawling on them or something. Really fidgety. They get really pissy if something doesn't go right and just look really off. I see other guys who are also serious weight lifters and they just do their thing and joke, laugh, and don't look like they are on anything.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (14 September 2012):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u for the valuable feedback both of you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 September 2012):
is he still on them?
if he is I'd be careful and read what Cerberus has written
if he's been off of them for a while it should be fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): Yeah I have one friend who does steroids. He's my workout buddy but one of my closest friends for the past 18 years.
I have chosen the natural route, only extra protein in my diet and shakes to make up the difference if I haven't had enough that day. My goal was always just toned, fitness, natural bulk and proportion. His goal is massive bulk but functional bulk, although I must say with the 'roids he's become a bit lumbering.
In relation to your question it has had some pretty noticeable effects on his relationships.
This is a guy who everyone will tell you has one of the highest moral standings of anyone you know. Truly a very controlled and principled guy, he would never do anything even minor to fuck over someone else, would not drink a beer left in the fridge if it was the last one and he was dying for one, one of those types of guys that detests selfishness etc.
The 'roids have made him struggle quiet a bit with his temper, it has become a lot shorter and as he has told me when it comes down to even minor infractions his body just screams at him for a physical reaction and it takes all his willpower not to punch that person in the face.
Possibly the most disturbing effect was him putting his hands around his ex-girlfriend's neck trying to choke her during an argument. He's still devastated that he did that, literally can't discuss it without breaking down into tears and knowing him it's not something he will ever forgive himself for. Now his girlfriend was a queen bitch, manipulative, physically abusive she's hit him more than once, emotionally, mentally abusive, and they simply had one of the worst, most volatile relationships you can imagine. I'm not excusing what he did, he will never excuse himself for it but she did push him that far, she kept pushing and pushing, slapping him until he snapped and did that.
The thing is he should have and normally would have left her well before things had gotten to that stage but on 'roids he just kind of needed that kind of aggressive stimulation, he kind of yearned for the aggression and drama of that relationship. Now I know he would never try to get physical with me, not just because I'd tear him to pieces but because we're friends a long time, but he does have a shorter fuse these days and can snap a lot easier than he used to and fly into a physical rage.
The thing is though you can see it building up and when you do you have to de-escalate straight away, back down and back off talk him down and tell him that he's starting to get carried away and he'll agree and back down.
TRE remember this guy is as I said very clam, controlled and principled as a guy anyway, so he can be reasoned with when he loses his temper if you bring down the tone of what's happening immediately but not all guys are like that and not all of them will want to calm down. You know what it's like to work out, that feeling of immense power when you're freshly pumped, that fearlessness of almost aching to take a guy down because you know how much extra powerful and dominant that feels. Well on 'roids that feeling is far more potent and as I said his body screams at him, every muscle wants action and his body wants to lash out, a lot of guys can't control that plus 'roids really mess up your concentration and you can find it hard to use intellect to solve problems or use your mind to clam down because your focus is shot.
The best way to deal with a juicer I've learned is to know the person, to know the signs, to diffuse tension the minute you start to see it. Sometimes though you just have to stay out of their way, if they've already reached a point of fury and aggression you're better off getting out of the way or going doing something else until they calm down.
Now I'm not sure what it's like to live with him or how he'd be in a regular relationship on 'roids because I had no time for his ex and she was far from normal.
But short temper, very low tolerance and aggression have become traits of his nowadays when they weren't before.
You just have to make sure you're always ready to back down. Even if you're right, even what's happening is not something you would normally back out from, 'roids changes a person to an aggressive weirdo and they lack control because their mind doesn't process things the same way. Just always be ready to take a hit to ego just to diffuse any situation that looks like it's getting out of hand and always pay attention to the mood and do what you can to clam things.
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