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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is a very brief question I have, but how many of you stuck to life plans that you made in your teens? I stuck to the same job I wanted in my early teens and went to the university that I wanted to go to in my teens, but I know it's highly unlikely that my life will continue to go exactly as planned because life likes to throw curveballs and there are so many variables. It just made me wonder what sort of things you ended up sticking to, like names of your children that you'd had planned, or the type of wedding, or career, etc.
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (9 April 2014):
 Even though I am still a teenager, I can tell you that I am in a complete different position to what I planned to do just months ago. When I started at college I planned to be finished by the time I was 18, but due to having to re-take GCSE's the latest I can finish by is when I am 19. I for years on end wanted to work in mental health as a psychiatric or carer for those with mental health needs. I was 100% that my life was going that way. I started off on an A-level course for health and social care but due to problems with the teaching I left the course and was put on a GCSE fast-track. And when I started that fast-track I decided I was going to go to university which was a first for me as it never sounded like my kinda thing. However after I got some expeirence with Mental health I decided the whole system was floored and thats when I found my new passion of free-lance photography. I decided to aim to become a free-lance photographer and even got in touch with a renown photographer to gain some information. However after having some complications with a illness of mine I had to leave college for a few months and at the moment its un-known if I will even be able to finish my GCSEs as like you put it, I got a curveball thrown at me. I now want to try and finish some stuff in college, and my best chance is to go and become a teaching assistant. So in answer to your question I don't think anyones lifes go exactly according to plan, and we all have curve balls thrown at us which ends up changing our lifes in some ways. I am still a teenager but have had my dreams and ambitions already changed about 4 times in the last year. I also have changed my ideas about marriage in the last few years, and when I started out my favourite names for a boy and a girl were Daniel and Lilly, but after meeting a bunch of not very nice Daniels, and learning the name Lilly is rather common, i've now changed it to Austin and Alessa. So hope that summary helps answer your question :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 April 2014):
 I am 54
at 16 I planned to be a teacher. I wanted to get married make babies and live happily ever after...
at 18 I went to college away from home that lasted a year and i moved home and transferred schools... deviation from plan one.
at 21 I dropped out and got married (deviation from plan two I wanted to graduate and work as a teacher)
I went to work in an office and in a few years started the baby thing. We remained married for 8 years and we separated (deviation 3)
back to work for me no more SAHM (the original plan was to work till I had babies then be a stay at home mom)
a few years later I added night school back so while working full time, being a single mom and running a home (oh and having a child with disabilities) I'm doing a lot of stuff NONE OF IT ON PLAN... all of it a good thing.
I never planned to marry and divorce three times.
I never planned to marry a guy 13+ yrs younger than I am
I never planned to develop crippling spinal arthritis
I never planned to develop perforated ulcers.
In retrospect, I probably never should have had kids I'm a lousy mother.
there is an old saying "tell God your plans and he laughs"
It's one thing to figure out what you wanna be when yo grow up.... it's another to totally let it control your life.
be flexible and open.
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A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (9 April 2014):
Hi,
Life plans are good for careers, work, lifestyle.
It's good to have an idea where you are going and want to be.
However, don't let them 'rule' your life or become 'truths' that you have to do and carry on. Stuff happens in life, deaths, illness, unexpected great news, happy events. You never know. Let life happen and it's great to have a life direction, but don't be rigid. Stuff happens!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2014): I never made any life plans, never saw the point in looking to future and living for the future.
I'll never get where people acquire this idea that life is about making a plan and then spending your life trying to achieve that. The idea that someone could be happy going from school, to work, to uni, to career, to marriage, kids and then only actually live once they retire is completely alien to me. A societal drone in my opinion, who fell for all that be the best citizen you can be and contribute bullshit.
I made no plans but short term ones I made on the spur of the moment, travelling Europe for three years, going back to college in my late 20's, making the investments that I did that have made me wealthy, meeting my wife. They were all opportunities that arose that I took advantage of.
My wife is a planner like you, but only in terms of career, she knew she wanted to be a scientist and found her calling in psychology. So that's what she is.
I wasn't part of her plan at all. I was an opportunity that arose, someone who just floated into her life and changed it's direction. As she describes it she took one gamble and hit the jackpot.
OP while she may be a planner she's not strict, I think from being around me she's learned that having a plan can be beneficial but if you ignore or are too scared to grab an opportunity because it doesn't fit into your plan then you will miss out on a lot.
She's also learned that if you're too strict then you're also too emotionally invested in your plan and if one little thing doesn't go perfectly it can devastate you and wreck everything. You see with every plan there's an equal chance of success or failure, the only problem is failure can create such a deviance as to throw the whole plan off, emotionally that can tear down your world.
That's the kind of thing that makes people who fail at a business venture commit suicide, or get into so much debt they never have a happy life, or they go far past their personal cut off point for marriage and kids, and just can't reconcile the feeling they've failed in life. That's what I don't get about the whole thing. Expectation is the bane of happiness. All I expect from myself is that I'm a good husband, friend, son, brother, that I have food in my belly, a roof over my head, that I'm good to people and am happy. In that sense I've already succeeded in life, because while I haven't always been 100% good to people and have made many mistakes, my expectations are easily accomplished and not dependent on anything or anyone else. Life can throw me anything it likes, I can always be a good person to the ones who matter to me and I can always overcome any sadness to become content again.
OP you may be under the impression that knowing how you want your life to go is some kind of safety net. It can be the opposite. Adaptability is what makes people a success.
What's the point in having have a plan if you stress about it not coming about? What's the point in putting expectations on yourself that depend on others, such as marriage. What happens if you don't find a woman to marry by your deadline, or you find out you can't have kids, 5 years in she cheats on you, or you lose your job, or you begin to realise your career is not what you thought it was?
Adaptability is the key to life. Don't be afraid to change direction and take an opportunity that changes it's direction. You have more to fear of a life lived by a strict set of rules than you have the curve balls. Those are what make life interesting and keep you challenged. The best thing about life is the obstacles you must overcome, they're not to be feared, they're to be embraced and conquered.
OP when you look to future don't forget the present and when you look to the future think of what kind of memories you'd like to have. Does being a drone with a plan that never deviates really equate to a life well lived for you? if so by all means continue. But understand the value of taking a time out from your plan to sit back and enjoy what the world has to offer too.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 April 2014):
 I don't think you can make a blue print and stick to it 100%.
I never wanted kids. I have 3. I changed my second daughter's name 2 weeks before she was born, due to a dream.
Don't be too rigid. Having goals and dream are good, some you can make happen others you can't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2014): I didnt stay with my plan :-( i went and fell in love... I should of stayed with my plan..love bites.
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