A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do men fantasize about their ex girlfriends when they are having sex? I've been with my boyfriend for a year and it's going great. He slept with 2 people before me and it never used to bother me until I met them both. I'm a curvy size 14, who's quite average looking, nothing special. Both of the girls before me are slim size 8-10s and they are both gorgeous. I know I can't control what he's thinking and I know he wouldnt be doing anything wrong but I've read in a number of magazines that guys think about their exes/friends/celebs etc when they are having sex and it drives me mad thinking that he's probably remembering what it was like to be with them :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): really dont think while u r enjoying sex u wud in the remotest think of anyone but the one u r with...for a guy, i think taking time to think of someone/anything else can cause distraction and maybe...limpness! lol
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): to daisyduck: I could only see that being a problem if you forsaw yourself not loving him anymore or getting bored with him or the sex-life. I see no other reason why you should be thinking about what sex would be like with other people. If you were thinking about it for those reasons then you might have different problems and want to be looking at different solutions.
I do, to some degree however, understand your wondering and to that I can only tell you this. Having had plenty of experience I can honestly tell you without hesitation that while sex without love can be fun (why else would people be doing at the time) it doesn't even start coming close to what it's like with the one that you truly and honestly love. So if you love the man you're with, don't worry, you really aren't missing much.
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A
female
reader, finchy +, writes (22 March 2007):
 Think about it... he is with you so he must like you for who you are and not basing you on appearance. My current bf has been with models who are drop dead gorgeous and then u have me who is a size 6 and weighs 7 1/2 st lol... i was sooo worried that he would wish he was with them and not me... but hes still with me so it must count for something :D... i think he is thinking of you and not his exs..
yvonne xx
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A
female
reader, daisyduck  +, writes (21 March 2007):
Hi there, like yourself often thought about that too. In the very same situation. It's nice to hear all the other replies, makes me feel better.... just wondering though should i be worried though, the fact that he's been the only person I've ever been with. That's what bothers me the most. Will I regret not having been with others where he has done that... Often wonder am I the only one is such situation and can we have a future together... Everything is going great but that often worries me that it'll be big regret and I'm only one is such situation...Any advise?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Jamitri is spot on, I've never thought about an ex like that when with someone else. You say you are quite average looking and nothing special, that's just what you think - I bet your boyfriend doesn't! As for the size 8 - 10s - visual beauty quickly fades to nothing when you no longer want to be with a person - same for women, right?
As for the magazines, these have their own agenda - they sustain their largely own manufactured idea of masculinity and femininity for their readership. They might be a good read, but hardly an insightful way of understanding the opposite sex, look at the responses so far, you can see that :)
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 I agree with the others that you are worrying over nothing! He is with you, and not at his ex gfs!! And don't believe everything you read in those magazines because most of them are a load of trash!! So don't read them, ok?
Your bf wants YOU, not them!
Hugs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Just put all thoughts of that out of your head. You are a beautiful person - so stop putting yourself down. He is with you and wants to be with you. They might be smaller in size, prettier (in your eyes) etc but they are his exs and he is with you. Stop worrying about it. You cannot control what a person thinks so stop torturing yourself. Beside some magazines write about the biggest load of tosh in the world, it helps them to sell, so don't take them as fact only fiction.
Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Hi there, thats a good question youve asked. I can only speak for my own experience when I say that during sex, my ex's are the LAST thing on my mind.
You say that his past girlfriends are size 8-10 and gorgeous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say and in his eyes, I bet you are a hands down knockout compared to them.
I know you cant read his mind or control his thoughts but you should just relax, especially when you're being intimated with each other, and dont worry what hes thinking about. If you're working your magic, he wont be able to help thinking about you and you only.
Best wishes,
Jamie
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