A
female
age
51-59,
*emeplev
writes:I am very concerned about the amount of sex or lack of with my boyfriend of 1.5 appx. he recently moved back home his mom is sick, but I am her caretaker..we dont live together and he didnt really want to move back home he likes his privacy. we have had sex a few times in his moms house but lately it seems as if the lack of airconditioning has been causing him to not let me stay by there and of course me having my daughter everyother week makes our one time a week together more challenging. It just seems wierd that he wouldnt try anything to try to have sex however possible since we only see eachother once a week...he recently told me he wants to have sex everyday when i brought up the lack of..but its the situation we are in..i find that to be an excuse...anyways i have posted recently have had some issues in the level of commitemnt with this relationship I am just asking simply dont men wantto have sex and alot of it with their girlfriends? the older i get the moreit seems that men over 40 dont seem to really ever care for it do i really need to find an 18 yr old..LOL? i mean once a week was ok for a while but i would have liked it at least 2-3-or more times a week and sometimes in a day...ughh frustrated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 HiMy mans 48 we have sex loads,both have busy work schedules and find that tiring but no way would he or I forgo the intimacy. We don't live together either which just spices things up.If you have a free week when you don't have your daughter then why do you only see him once a week? I would sit him down and ask some serious questions,its been 7 months. He may be stressed about his mum, he may be losing interest, its time for straight talking and straight answers
A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (9 July 2012):
demeplev is verified as being by the original poster of the question MikeEAl and Serpico, thats what i suspected all along, its definetly not normal for him either as he tole me early on in our relationship that he had a high ex drive...something is wrong I feel like the AGRESSOR and that sux
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A
male
reader, Bob Loblaw +, writes (9 July 2012):
Plenty of men over 40 have healthy sex drives - I'm one of them! By that I mean several times a week...and sometimes a couple times a day! If that's not what you're getting that could mean a number of things. 1) Your guy sounds very distracted by his sick mom 2) not eating right or being overweight, or having unhealthy habits like drinking too much or smoking 3) Pressure to perform? 4) emotional disconnect. That last one I think is underrated in many situations for men - I can say it matters to me, at least.
Think about which of these might apply in your case....
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (9 July 2012):
Im 44, and I have sex w my fiancee at least six times a week. If I go more than a day or two, I start getting antsy. Ive always had a high sex drive, and I have not seen it abate all that much as Ive gotten older.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I suspect he's choking the turkey too much or he has a low sex drive. most of us post40 men (I'm 58) need it pretty regularly and by that I mean 2=3 times a week. there is some problem in your case.
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A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (9 July 2012):
demeplev is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI find it strange so early in a relationship to not want to be hot and heavy at least once a week? no?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Stress, lack of privacy, or another girl. They all sound likely.
To answer your question directly, I'm over 40 under 50 and three times a week would be great.
FA
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A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (9 July 2012):
demeplev is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAunt Honesty, and Sweet-thing,thank you both yes I want to believe that is the problem, I just dont want to be blind and not see if he was pulling away, recently I caught him at a "friends" house a girl who he LIED about so I just want to make sure Im not missing any signs, I just feel like maybe he could make more of an effort sexually once a month and not very intimate isnt cutting it...I have been sticking this out for 7 months like this and I have taken the brunt of taking care of his mom. I love his mom very much and he is in denial for sure about her health.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 July 2012):
 They say that women peak after 30 and men begin to decline sexually after 35 so yes I think it is more challenging for men over 40 to have a ramped up sex drive. Some men probably do but alot don't. Couple that with the pressure your man is having over his sick mother and the lack of privacy and that could be a big part of the problem. It's hard to feel sexy when you are caring for a sick or dying parent. It makes you think about your own mortality and that does not lend itself to sexual fantasies. I think the timing for this relationship is making things very difficult but if you're patient, if the relationship has enough going for it otherwise, his mother may get better, or may pass on. In either case he will no longer be tied to taking care of her and after a time may be able to plug back into life and sex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I can totally understand where you are coming from really I can, but it sounds to me like he is not making an excuse at all. I am sure his mother being sick and him having to live there has caused him some stress in his life, that can play a factor on someone's sex drive. Also it cannot be helped if you both do not see each other a lot, and remember even when you do both get to spend some time together it should not always be about sex. I think as his partner at the moment you should try and be there for him emotionally while is mother is unwell, I think he needs all the support he can get at the moment as I am sure he is quite worried about her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): I am 49 and I have a very high sex drives. I eat alot of vegetables,yogurt , tuna and salmon in my diet.Maybe its the food he eats. I stay virile for a long time and can do it at least a few times a session and ready for it everyday. Unfortunately no gf at this moment. What can you do.
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