A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My questions is, do men like when their girlfriend calls and texts frequently? I usually wait for my boyfriend to send me the first text of the day, and I usually don't call- I let him call me because I don't want to seem overly clingy or like I'm bugging him because he doesn't really enjoy talking on the phone.I find that I often let him take the reins and contact me when he wants to, but do you think this makes him feel ignored or like I'm not interested?Also, I tend to let him invite me to stuff and allow him to decide when we see each other. I don't often suggest we do something on a particular night. And I don't usually invite him over to spend the night, I just say yes when he asks. I don't just "drop by" or tell him I'm coming over, for fear that I'm doing something wrong or being "psycho".Am I being "cool" or am I being evasive? I'm not purposely trying to be a certain thing, I just am terrified of coming off as needy and pushing him away!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Do what feels right. I don't call my husband throughout the day just to chat... he has work to do, and we can chat when he gets home. And I believe there is such a thing as oversharing and not getting enough time to miss each other.
If he is TDY (away for school or such) it would be sorta 50/50 with the wake up calls, though I never called him week-end morning since I figured he'd enjoy the chance to sleep in.
I think as long as you don't bombard him with calls and texts that it is perfectly fine.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2012):
 when my fiance and I lived apart (an LDR) I needed way more contact than he did (at least at first) and I felt rather insecure...
eventually we talked about the fact that I needed more contact from him... and we set up the plan:
I called him at 8 am to wake him
I called him when I got into bed at night as I go to bed earlier than he does.
any other contact during the day except for emergencies was on him....
it worked for us as I knew I would get at least 2 short phone calls a day... sometimes they lasted longer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): sounds fine to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input, everyone. Cerberus: I think that may be the situation- I need constant contact (at least a few times a day), and I dont think he does, which makes me feel rejected, ignored, like he's not thinking of me. Can you give me your feedback on this?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): There are no rules here, and lets not make any!
Either of you can go first. As long as you don't annoy each other.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Every guy is different, some men see frequent texts as clingy others as a sign of interest only.
I think its best to keep it in balance.
Sometimes take the initiative and text him too first so he doesnt feel the oddball
goodluck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2012): Sounds fine to me. If my girlfriend didn't call and text me we'd probably never speak hehe. I'm not the type that needs to be in constant contact but she is and I'm fine responding.
OP the way it sounds between you and he sounds fine. You get to meet up, you get to hang out and you get to be in communication, I don't see a problem, try not to worry. If it was an issue surely he'd say it wouldn't he?
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A
male
reader, Paradise_Lost  +, writes (2 April 2012):
 I think you should call first at least some of the time. Otherwise, you'll appear uninterested.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 April 2012):
 Has he ever indicated to you that he'd like to hear from you first? Or does he he seem content to be the one initiating all contact? What's your sense of his attitude?
It wouldn't do any harm to occasionally phone to invite him to go out somewhere you think you might both enjoy. However, if as you say he doesn't really enjoy talking on the phone - and some people don't; nothing to take personally - you should make it brief and to the point: i.e., "there's this great new restaurant/movie/show I've heard about. Would you like to go?" Maybe he'd enjoy your doing a little bit of initiating a get=together sometimes.
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