A
female
age
30-35,
*erriesAndSugar
writes:Strange question, I know, but I'm curious to hear from a man's perspective what it is about femininity and feminine women they find attractive. I don't understand it - unsurprisingly, since I'm a het. female - and I was just curious if feminine qualities are genuinely attractive to men. I always feel a bit self-conscious when I'm dolled-up and looking 'girly' or 'cute' as some of my housemates have described. I'm a t-shirt and jeans/outdoorsy kind of gal, and I'm curious if accentuating my femininity would be seen as more attractive. That's not to say being outdoorsy and feminine are mutually exclusive, though!I also tend to feel a bit pathetic when I can't do things for myself. I've heard that some men really enjoy helping a woman with things that they aren't able to do for whatever reason, reaching high places, lifting, maybe teaching them something or guiding them to a new interest, etc.I like to think of myself as fairly independent, and when I'm in a vulnerable position or can't quite do something for myself I start to feel ridiculous if someone (not necessarily a man) has to help me, as though I'm too weak to do it myself.So gents, in a very long winded way, I'm asking - do you like it when a woman plays to her feminine and, perhaps, more 'delicate' side? Without veering into ditsy territory or the helpless damsel in distress side of things, but in small ways, maybe?When I see girls like this I don't understand what's so attractive, but then again, I'm not a man so I suppose I wouldn't! I guess that when it comes to what I find attractive in a man, other men might not necessarily understand that when they project the qualities I like onto their partners.Ta! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, brott  +, writes (28 October 2013):
 I won't say what I like in a woman—it doesn't matter. What does matter is that there is no "type" that guys like. Some guys couldn't stand a girl who's not "girly", while some would like a woman who's somewhat masculine. One guy can like several types of woman.
I'll suggest that you won't be as interesting to men if you are self-conscious about who you are. If you feel girly, make no apologies and go be as girly as you like. If you feel like going out with an old t-shirt and jeans, go ahead. Just make sure you "own it".
Do this and you'll be more attractive than the girly girl trying to be outdoorsy, or the cowgirl who's stumbling around in high heels.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (27 October 2013):
 Berries,
You live in the UK so you haven't met what I am about to describe to you. In the western US we have Cowgirls. Girls raised either on a working ranch or farm. Most of these girls are extremely competent. They can care for animals, balance a budget, drive a truck, and change a flat tire. Yet despite all of that they are the epitome of femininity. They tend to wear nice jeans rather than skirts but they wear them right. In attitude they don't try to out do the guys. They generally team up with their husband and conquer all.
Is this attractive to men? Very much so, Tough Cowboys are lining up to get wrapped around the finger of one of these girls. Both the femininity and the competence are the attraction. Generally a girl with one and not the other will not get as much respect or attention.
The question remaining is can this work for you? I suspect it can. And, to answer your question, "do you like it when a woman plays to her feminine and, perhaps, more 'delicate' side? Without veering into ditsy territory or the helpless damsel in distress side of things, but in small ways, maybe?" Yes we do!
As many have said not every guy will like the same thing. In the southern US a girl can be as ditzy as she wants, even helpless as long as she is Gracious (kind and has good manners).
So you are more of a Cowgirl than a Belle, That is just what you are. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Pretending is unattractive. Strong men will be attracted to your confidence.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2013): 1. It depends. 2. Be yourself no matter what you read here (or anywhere for that matter).3. Personally, I prefer feminine girls. Feminine as in "somewhat cute", not borderline pathetic. To me, being feminine is the opposite of "modern" feminism. I dislike women who have this insecure need of underlining their independence all the time and who do not show any warmth and emotions. That's what being feminine means to me: showing traditionally female emotions, warmth, a bit of cuteness and moderate interest in her looks, etc. I guess it boils down to accepting the biological differences and using them in the right way. For example, if I carry something heavy for my girlfriend, an unexpected kiss on the cheek would be the feminine thing to do in exchange. Or supporting me when I'm facing stressful decisions. A woman's support could take the form of consoling, hugging etc, whereas a man's support would rather focus on solving the problem (+hugging so that she feels protected).That's not to say that feminine women should spend all their time looking cute, doing makeup and showing "family" emotions, of course not! Few people want a girl with no brains and skills. They should balance that with independence, skills and knowledge (but then, some dependence is just cute: such as carrying a heavy baggage for her).Why do men like feminine women? Well, why do women like masculine men? I think evolution is to "blame". You want a man who will protect you and provide for you, and we want a woman who will take care of our offspring. You can't really fight it.Heck, even the most feminist girls I know sometimes say that they would like to feel "small and needing the strong arms of a man".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2013): There's no 'one size fits all' for men when it comes to women.
Some men will be attracted to you. Others won't.
Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
In any case, you don't want to attract the sort of fella who's expecting to rescue you every so often. You just won't be compatible!
My advice is to focus on your interests - that's what will ultimately generate interest from guys!
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