A
female
age
30-35,
*cythe
writes:I've recently entered my first relationship with a guy (I'm 18) and we've been going out for about a week and a half (three dates). I know it's early days but I want to know how can I connect with him on an emotional level. On the past two dates we have ended up kissing alot and grinding (at a nightclub), which is fun I supose but I'm worried that he might only view me in a sexual way. I've heard that guys can separate emotional feelings and sexual feelings, but I don't want our relationship to just be sexual.Is it normal to just be sexually attracted at first, then as time goes by, grow closer emotionally? Or will he always just think of me as a sexual persuit. Does a guy need to have an emotional connection with a girl at the very beginning?How can we become closer emotionally, without me scaring him off?Any advice will be appreciated :)Scythexox
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (21 January 2008):
 "Guys can compartmentalized their feelings or emotions. They can have sex with anything and without any feelings unlike women. They don't have to have a reason for sex.
They are initially sexually attracted to women because they move on the virtual while women moves on the feelings level"
I have to say that whilst I suppose, yes, guys can compartmentalize their feelings or emotions, sex just isn't the same if the emotional connection isn't there.
For me, if it's just sex, it's simply lust or just to fulfill a need (e.g. one-night-stands). However, if a deeper emotional connection is there; feelings of love, care and affection it's not just sex but much more.
As far the emotional connection thing goes, I think this can either grow or die the longer you're together depending on whether you're right for each other. I don't think you can make this happen.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Guys can compartmentalized their feelings or emotions. They can have sex with anything and without any feelings unlike women.They don't have to have a reason for sex.
They are initially sexually attracted to women because they move on the virtual while women moves on the feelings level.
Sometimes it is not love but lust in them.
If you want your relationship to last, you will have to move on the emotional levels.
Share your activities or do things together. Women must not appear to be clingy or needy. This will scare them off.
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