A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have only had two serious relationships so far, the first was a very good guy. He never would talk to a girl or interact with them in any manner other than just friends, and any time a girl would send him something, he was very upfront w out my ever asking for it. He seemed to see me as his one priority female-wise, and while he had some girls who were friends, they were kept clearly as such.My most recent boyfriend, however, seemed to have all these girls he would casually flirt with, text, and never tell me about through out the whole relationship. When I would find out, it was practically devastating to me. I would feel inferior after seeing this, and knowing it was intentionally done behind my back hurt so much more. I have read in a response to another user's question that men will have female friends they have crushes on and unless that female is a friend of his girlfriend, they won't bring them up as it lead's to complications.Is this true? Do most men have girls that they secretly like on the side and keep it from their girlfriend and I should come to accept this? Or can I realistically anticipate finding plenty like my first ex? I feel really confused.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 No, not every man has a girl on the side. Some will crush on other girls when in a relationship. I've been guilty of that myself. It's part of the human condition. It doesn't mean he'll cheat, or is wanting to break up to be with her, it just happens sometimes. It doesn't matter if she's a friend of our GF or not. Not every female friend is a crush however. Especially not when in a relationship. Usually these things pop up when you hit a bumpy patch, or all of our "needs" (more realistically wants and desires) aren't being met.
Don't kid yourself either. Women do this just as much as men. Like I said. It is part of the human condition. Sometimes we feel attraction to others. How we act on it is what matters in a relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): No...and who ever told you that is truly stupid. Yes, almost every guy has girl---friends, but those relationships are just that: friendship.
Real men only flirt with the girl they are with, not ones on the street.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 If you don't mind my asking, why did you leave your first boyfriend? He sounds like the perfect guy for you.
I'm pretty sure there are a lot of loyal guys out there, just takes a little searching. People with similar personalities tend to hang around in specific places or groups at least, that's how it is where I live.
I hope that helps.
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